


Afterglow

by AelinElentiya



Series: Twilight Stories [1]
Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: F/M, Post-Breaking Dawn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-14
Updated: 2016-09-09
Packaged: 2018-05-06 14:28:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 33,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5420564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AelinElentiya/pseuds/AelinElentiya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everything in Renesmee Cullen’s life has turned into chaos. She is approaching her ninth birthday, and overnight she reaches her final growth spurt. With her body’s sudden changes, she has developed an uncontrollable thirst for human blood that puts her family and friends at risk. She is terrified that she will become the monster the Volturi once thought she was.<br/>Her relationship with Jacob has progressed quicker than she expected, and as happy as she is, it scares her, too, because now she is forced to think about the future. Nessie must learn to accept herself for who she really is and learn what it means to be an imprint and adult hybrid</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1. Thirst

AFTERGLOW  
A Noun

—light or radiance remaining in the sky after the sun has set   
—a good feeling remaining after a pleasurable or successful experience

 

1\. Thirst 

 

MOST GIRLS CRAVED THINGS LIKE CHOCOLATE AND PICKLES WHEN THEY’RE ON their periods. Me? I craved blood—and animal blood wasn’t cutting it. I wanted human blood, fresh and straight from the “source”. I wanted it by the gallon, buckets full of the stuff.  
The only thing that was stopping me from satisfying that craving was imagining the horrified look on Jacob’s face when I told him, out of guilt, that I had been drinking human blood. Not only drinking it, but enjoying it. Imagining his horrified look, the fear in his eyes, was enough to make me fight it. Even though it was harder and harder to avoid when my cousins were around, the scent of their blood filling every inch of the house. And every time one of them spoke or moved, it was like being hit in the face all over again, the craving intensifying.   
“Here you go,” My Uncle Jasper said, handing me a steaming cup of apple cider. I took it, blowing on it before I took a long drink. I didn’t drink tea, but apple cider was as close as I could get, and it was my go-to comfort drink.   
“Mmm. Thanks,” I said, setting the cup on the nightstand beside me. We were sitting in my room at the cottage, after I had stormed out of the house because I couldn’t handle being around my cousins anymore. Uncle Jasper, sensing that I was in distress, followed me. He was the only person I could be around when I was like this, probably because of his emotion-controlling gift, but mostly because he was the only one who really understood what it was like.   
“You’re welcome. You know, Ness, you can keep pretending that nothing’s wrong, but they’re going to figure it out eventually,” he said. “I know what you’re going through, but don’t you think that Jacob at least deserves to know why you’re avoiding him?“   
“I am not avoiding him,” I protested. He gave me a pointed look, and I sighed. “Fine, maybe I am avoiding him a little. But it doesn’t matter. I’m not telling him.”   
He sighed, shaking his head at me. “Your father did this same thing, you know. Avoided your mother because he wanted to keep her safe. It was my fault, because I couldn’t control myself then. But it didn’t work, obviously. It only did more harm than good in the end,” he said. “Avoiding Jacob is not going to do any good for either of you. I know you’re afraid of hurting him. But you need to have more faith in yourself, Ness. You think any of us would let you hurt him, even by accident? You think he would let you do something you’d regret?”   
I swallowed. He did have a point. “It’s not so much that I’m afraid of hurting him. I’m more afraid of what he’ll think about me. He already thought I was a monster once.”   
“Oh, Nessie,” he said, sympathy in his eyes. “Jacob wouldn’t think that. And in no universe would he ever hate you, or be afraid of you.”   
“No one said anything about fear, or hate,” I said, but I’d been thinking it. “But like I said, it doesn’t matter. He’s not going to find out. And if you tell him, I will kill you myself.”   
He didn’t get the chance to say anything, because my phone started ringing then. I checked the number, sighed, and clicked ignore. A minute later, it beeped again, a voicemail message from Jacob. I clicked on it, and held the phone to my ear.   
“Stop ignoring my calls, Renesmee. Honestly, I don’t know what I did to piss you off, but I’m sorry. Please call me back? I miss you.”   
I deleted the message, as I had with the last thirty messages. I couldn’t even pretend that it didn’t hurt to hear him call me Renesmee. He had to be really mad at me to call me that.   
“Call him back,” Uncle Jasper said.  
I felt the sudden desire to obey, to pick up my phone and call Jacob back. But I fought the urge, glaring at him. “Don’t you dare use your gift on me again,” I said angrily. “That’s not fair, Uncle J, and you know it.”  
He didn’t even look sorry. “You haven’t exactly left me very many options,” he said. “You’re so stubborn, Nessie. You’re going to have to speak to him eventually. And you won’t be able to avoid him on Saturday.”   
I groaned. Of course. Nikita’s birthday party. To which the entire Pack had been invited. Hopefully I could do something about this craving before I was surrounded by humans. “I’ll think of some way to avoid him,” I said.   
He shook his head at me. “You should hunt tonight. And probably every night until Saturday,” he suggested. “You are so stubborn. It’s infuriating. You should just talk to him.”   
“Not going to happen,” I said. “And you can stop giving me that pleading look. I’m not falling for it.”   
He scowled. “Damn. It always works for Alice,” he said.   
“Yes, but that’s because it’s Aunt Alice. And you only give in because you know eventually she’s going to get her way,” I said.  
“True enough,” he said, laughing.   
We sat there on my bed for a while, and I tried to get him to tell me what I was getting for my birthday in a couple of weeks, but he refused to spill the beans. He went back to the house after a while, assuring me that he would be back soon, and I curled up in bed and fell asleep, exhausted, hoping I didn’t have nightmares. 

~*~

The next few days passed in a sort of blur. Every morning and evening I went hunting—usually alone, since my family didn’t need to hunt as often as I did. Sometimes my Mom or Dad or Uncle Jasper came with me, but most times they left me alone, though I could almost sense their concern when I came back.   
When I wasn’t hunting, I was ignoring Jacob’s calls. He had started calling my parents and my aunts and uncles, too, so I had to make up excuses to not talk to him. I was surprised he hadn’t actually marched over to see if I was still alive or not.   
“You should just talk to him, Nessie,” Aunt Rose said, after turning her phone off because Jacob had called her three times that afternoon. “I don’t get what your problem is.”   
“I’m not talking to him,” I snapped. “Next time he calls, just tell him to stop calling. If he hasn’t gotten the hint that I don’t want to talk to him by now, then you can just flat out tell him so.”   
Aunt Rose blinked, surprised. “Nessie, sweetie. I know your body is going through these changes right now, and I know you feel like you’ve lost control over yourself. That’s normal. It’s called hormones. But keeping Jacob away isn’t helping.”   
“Seriously? That’s what you think this is, Aunt Rose? Just typical teenage hormones?” I let out a bitter laugh. “You have no idea what I’m going through! Don’t even try to act like you do, because you don’t! None of you have any clue!”   
After that, I stormed out, not even feeling the slightest bit guilty at the look of hurt on her face. Once I was safely back in my bedroom, I screamed into my pillow until I felt a little better, but I was still pissed.   
They had no idea. Not one of them knew what I was going through right now. I could feel my body physically changing, the closer I got to my ninth birthday. And the whirlwind of emotions I felt right now had little to do with the fact that I was still on my damn period. They escalated, the closer it got to September. I felt like a ticking time bomb. And the thirst was only getting more and more powerful. I was almost tempted to break into Grandpa Carlisle’s stash of emergency blood baggies. That was how hungry I was. The animal blood did next to nothing to help my raging thirst.   
I pulled out my phone, and called the one person I could think of. The only person in the world that might have even the slightest idea of what I was going through.  
“Hello?”   
Leah answered on the third ring. Leah Clearwater was a werewolf— though I preferred to call them shapeshifters— like Jacob. She was the only female Shapeshifter that had ever existed, and no one knew why. A few years back, she’d imprinted on Nahuel, another half-vampire like me. Leah was probably my best friend next to Jacob.   
“It’s Nessie,” I said. “Do you have a minute? I need to talk to you.”   
She shouted to someone that she’d be right back, and I heard the sound of a door opening and closing. “What’s up, firefly? You sound like shit,” she said.   
I laughed a little. One of the main reasons I trusted her so much was because she didn’t sugar-coat things, and she was always brutally honest. Few people were able to get along with her because of her bluntness and overwhelming passion. “I... I’m kind of going crazy right now,” i admitted. “I hate my body.”   
“Ah. It’s your time of the month?” She asked. “I can’t remember the last time I had a period, but I get what you mean.”   
“I feel like I’m losing control,” I said. “I’m craving blood so much, and the thirst is making me go insane. I don’t know how much longer I can take this.”   
“Whoa. Slow down there, Ness. Describe it to me— the craving, I mean. What does it feel like?” She asked.   
“It’s like the most powerful hunger you can imagine, and nothing satisfies it,” I said. My body was shaking, so I wrapped my arms around my knees as if I was trying to hold myself together, and took a deep breath. “It’s like a raging storm inside me, and I can’t control it. I can’t let it out, either, because I’ll end up hurting someone. I don’t want to be a monster, Leah.”   
“I know, sweetheart,” she said, sympathy in her voice. “You’re not a monster. Okay. Listen to me. Nahuel gets this sometimes, when he’s stressed or after he’s had a long day. The point is that it will be okay. The thirst is controllable.”   
“How?” I nearly sobbed.   
She was quite for a second, like she was thinking. “Nahuel sometimes takes a few blood bags from the hospital. Not too many, one or two. Three is the most he’s ever had when it gets really bad. It makes him feel horrible, drinking human blood, but he would rather drink from a blood bag than take someone’s life again. Carlisle still keeps an emergency supply on hand, right?” She asked.   
“Yeah,” I said. “But it’s for like, super emergencies, not just a little craving here and there. Otherwise we’d be breaking our diet.”   
“I think Carlisle will find this an emergency. If the thirst isn’t controlled soon, you could end up hurting someone. I’m not saying you will— it’s just a strong possibility. So, if you explain what’s going on, I’m pretty sure that he’ll let you have a couple of baggies,” she said. “But you need to find some way to keep the thirst as subdued as you can, especially when you’re on your period. You’re already losing so much blood, so the main reason your thirst is so strong—especially now— is because your body has to replace that blood. And the only way it can think of doing that is by drinking blood, human blood. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s your body’s way of trying to replace what it’s losing. And the more blood you loose, the stronger the thirst is going to get. So you have to do what you can to keep it under control. Even if it means drinking two blood baggies a day until your period is over.”   
“That makes sense,” I said. “I never really thought of it like that. How do you know all of this, anyway?”   
“Nahuel’s sisters kind of went through the same thing. I made a point of asking them about it, so we would be prepared when it happened to you,” she said, like it was no big deal. “So, about the subduing your thirst thing I mentioned. It helps Nahuel to have something that grounds him, something that makes him stay in control. For Nahuel, that’s me. It helps him when I’m there to talk him through it. But it’s hard for anyone to witness what the thirst can do. When it gets really bad, it’s really hard to pull him out of it again. But I do it, because I love him and I can’t stand seeing him like that. I’m hoping you never end up off the edge, but if it does happen, even if you feel the slightest craving, it helps to have someone there that can talk you through it. Even just being there helps sometimes.”   
Who would be that person for me? Uncle Jasper helped the other day, but I couldn’t make him go through what Leah was describing. I couldn’t make any of them go through that. But I could think of one person who might.  
“What... what is it like, for Nahuel? When he goes... off the edge?” I wasn’t sure I really wanted to know the answer, but I needed to know.   
“He says it’s excruciating,” she said, her voice cracking a little, like it was painful even to think about it. “Like his body is being ripped apart over and over again. Sometimes he says it’s like swimming in a pool of lava, the thirst burning his throat. It’s horrible, Nessie. I hate seeing him like that. And it takes a lot to pull him out of that bottomless pit. It makes him into a different person. Not the person that I fell in love with. And God, it hurts to see him in so much pain, to know that there’s nothing I can do except be there for him. I feel so useless when it happens. All I can do is sit there, and be with him and talk to him. It’s awful. The worst thing I’ve ever experienced in my life—even worse than my first shift.”   
I could almost imagine what it would be like, to “fall off the edge”, as she put it. I could imagine the excruciating pain, the feeling of my body being ripped apart, the fire burning my throat. I could imagine being lost in the pain of the thirst. The thought itself was enough to make me cringe.   
“I never knew you had to go through that,” I said. “I’m so sorry.”   
She sighed, and I could imagine that she was shrugging on the other end of the phone. “It’s something I’ve had to deal with,” she said. “Like everything else in my life. I just deal with it. But I hope it never happens to you, Ness. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.”   
Her worst enemy, I assumed, would be the Volturi. And if Leah, who hated the Volturi with a passion, wouldn’t wish what she described to be the most painful thing she’s ever experienced on them, then it had to be really bad.   
“I hope it never happens to me, too,” I said. “Leah... there’s something else that’s been bothering me. Well, actually someone.”  
“Ah, I knew this was coming,” she said. “The boy-talk part of the conversation. Always the most exciting part. So, what’s going on with you and Jake?”   
I flushed, glad she couldn’t see me. “How do you know it has something to do with Jacob?” I asked.   
She laughed. “Because he called me the other night, whining that you were refusing to talk to him. He said he left you over fifty messages and you haven’t replied to a single one. So, what’s going on? Are you pissed at him, like he thinks? And if so, why are you pissed at him?”   
“I’m not pissed at him,” I said, sighing. “I just... I can’t be around him right now. My body is out of control, and my hormones are doing wacky things. I don’t want him to know about the blood thing, and I don’t want him to see me all out of control like this. He already knows I have my period, because he was here when I got it last week and he said he could smell it on me or something, so that’s bad enough. But I don’t want him to know about everything else. Plus, I don’t trust myself with him. He already smells really good to me on normal days. With the cravings on top of it all, I’m afraid I’ll end up hurting him somehow.” I finished in a rush, and took a deep breath.   
Leah was silent for a moment, like she was taking it all in. “Well, at least you didn’t describe what he smells like to you. I do not need to know what Jacob smells like,” she said. “But, I do see where you’re coming from, not trusting your hormones and such. Nahuel gets like this too sometimes, funnily enough. He goes from wanting to do things in the bedroom no one should know about to from wanting to attack me and feed off me like I’m a smoothie. You’d think he was a girl, the way his emotions change on him all the time. So, your problem is that you’re afraid of hurting Jacob, because you think that because you’re on your period he’ll smell like Christmas dinner, right?”   
“Thanks for the visual I didn’t need. I’m never going to drink a smoothie again, after that mental image,” I said, making a face. “But yeah. That’s exactly it.”   
“But at the same time, you also really want to go at it like rabbits, yes?” She asked.  
I made a gagging noise, and she laughed. “I don’t know if that description is actually accurate, but something like that, I guess,” I said. This was the best part about talking to Leah— the fact that I could be totally honest about these sorts of things, talk about them as if we were discussing the weather.  
“Okay, I’m going to be totally blunt with you, and I don’t give two craps if you like what I’m going to say or not,” she said. “You and Jacob are not together. Your body is doing all these wacky things, making you feel like you’re out of control. But, when you were little, who was there when you were having nightmares and no one could comfort you? Jacob. Who was there when you had all those growth spurts and you were devastated because, once again, your body was doing things that were out of your control? Jacob. Jacob has been there every time you’ve ever needed him. You might not think so yourself, Nessie, but you need him a lot more than you can admit to yourself. And these cravings and ever-changing hormones that you’re going through? They’re out of your control. The only way you’re going to be able to keep it controlled is by having someone there to keep you grounded. And who do you think that person is going to be?”   
I swallowed. She was right. I’d always had Jacob when I needed someone. And maybe I did need him more than I wanted to admit to myself. “He’s going to think I’m a monster,” I whispered, blinking back tears.   
“No, he won’t,” Leah promised. “You didn’t hear him on the phone, Nessie. He’s worried about you. He knows that you’re going through things he won’t always understand. He thinks that you’re afraid because of your birthday coming up, that you’re afraid of never aging again. He thinks that you hate him for imprinting on you. Jake’s miserable right now, without you. He hasn’t shown up at the door because he knows it’ll only make things worse, and he’s afraid that you’re going to tell him that you don’t want him around.”   
“I don’t... Why would he think I hate him because of the imprint?” I choked out the word imprint. I almost never said it aloud.   
“I don’t know, maybe because he feels that by imprinting on you, he basically made it impossible for you to be with someone else? Because by imprinting on you, your life was planned out from birth and he thinks you resent him for it?” She said it a little harshly, and I flinched.   
“I don’t hate him. And I don’t resent him, either,” I said. “And I do want him around. It’s just hard to be around him when I don’t know how I feel about him.”   
“That’s bullshit,” she said bluntly. “You know exactly how you feel about Jake, you just don’t want to admit it to yourself.”   
“Because I’m not ready!” I burst out. “I’m not ready for that kind of relationship yet. I’m not ready to make that kind of commitment. I’m not ready to... to be a mate.”   
“Oh, Nessie,” Leah said softly. “Don’t you understand? You already are a mate. You’ve been a mate since you were born. Just because you aren’t together in the physical sense doesn’t mean that you aren’t mates. You just have to take that next step. I think you already know what you want— you’re just afraid of taking that next step, of making that choice. Because it will change everything. Once you make your choice, there’s no going back.”   
“I know that,” I said. “I just... I need time. I need to think clearly. And I need to get control of my thirst before I make any decisions.”   
“Then tell him that,” she said. “Tell Jake that you need time. He’ll give you time, and space. Just don’t shut him out, okay? He’s perfectly happy to wait as long as you want. He’s not going anywhere anytime soon.”   
“I know,” I said. “Sometimes it scares me how much you know about how he thinks. You know us both so well, and it’s kind of scary.”   
She laughed. “Well, when you spend a certain amount of time in a person’s head, you start to get a pretty accurate idea of how he thinks and how he acts. It’s one of the downfalls of being a werewolf. And I only know you so well because we’re a lot alike. We have a lot in common, and we’re sort of best friends.”  
“Sort of?” I pretended to sound hurt, but I was smiling. She wasn’t always great at expressing her feelings. She had no tolerance for the “mushy-gushy stuff”, as she claimed.  
“You know exactly what I mean, Ness,” she said, and I could almost hear her rolling her eyes. “I have to go now, before my boss freaks out at me for taking too long a break. Text me if you need me, okay?”   
“Okay,” I said. “Thank you, by the way. For the advice. And your extreme bluntness. It’s always helpful.”   
She laughed again “Glad to be of service,” she said. “Talk to you soon. Bye.”   
Then she hung up, and I clicked my phone off, curled up in bed, and fell asleep.

~*~

 

By Friday, it seemed like my thirst was mostly under control. Grandpa, after a brief hesitation, had agreed to get me a small supply of blood bags from work. Twice a day, morning and night, I had to drink them. I tried to think of it like taking antibiotics or something—that this was something I needed. But it was hard to compare them to taking antibiotics when I actually enjoyed drinking them. I liked it, even looked forward to it, and it disgusted it me. I hated myself for it. Grandpa Carlisle assured me not to be ashamed for liking the taste. It was in my blood to enjoy the taste of human blood, after all.  
I still hunted with my parents regularly, and I still ate human food, though my appetite had decreased considerably. I picked at my food during meals, and I’d stopped eating breakfast since I started the blood. Lunch was the only meal I really ate anymore, and even that was small portions. Half a sandwich and some fruit, maybe. For someone who usually ate three large meals a day, and snacks in between, it was unusual. And noticeable. My family noticed, and they worried. They would pass concerned glances amongst themselves when I pushed my half-full plate away and declared that I was full. My mother worried the most. She was afraid that if I relied too much on the nutrition from the blood, I would have a harder time transitioning back to a normal diet again. She kept bringing me food during the day. Cookies and milk for snack each night, bacon and eggs, toast with peanut butter and jam, or pancakes, to me every morning. I would force myself to take a few bites just to please her, but otherwise, I hardly touched anything.   
After breakfast on Friday morning, after Mom got me to eat half of the egg Dad had made, I went to brush my teeth. I was rinsing my mouth out afterwards when I noticed my reflection, and dropped the toothbrush into the sink and stepped back, clapping my hand over my mouth in horror.   
The girl looking back at me in the mirror wasn’t me. She was beautiful, with clear, golden skin and beautiful bronze curls that seemed to shine. She had perfect cheeks, perfectly white teeth, and perfect lips. I didn’t recognize her. But it was the eyes—my eyes—that scared me the most, that made me freeze.   
They were still warm chocolate brown that they had always been, but now, there was a tinge of crimson in them. Almost as if they were bloodshot, but I knew better. They were the exact same crimson of a vampire who drank human blood. They were the exact same shade of crimson of the eyes of murderers’.


	2. 2. Transformed

Transformed 

 

I STOOD THERE FOR SEVERAL LONG MINUTES, STARING, REPULSED, AT MY NEW refection. The longer I looked, the more I noticed about it, and the more I hated it.   
The girl in the mirror looked at least eighteen, but could easily pass for twenty-something. At certain angles, there was a sharpness to her—my—features that hadn’t been there before. They were more defined, more elegant. Like my Mom’s, Rosalie’s, and Esme’s. Like a true vampire. Even my eyes seemed more golden now that I looked at them, except that they were now tinged with red.   
I’d had another growth spurt. I had known it would be soon, but I had expected I would have a few more days before it happened. But then, that was always the problem, wasn’t it? I always thought I had more time than I did, and then bam—a slap in the face again.   
And here it was. Here I was, all grown up at last. My parents’ had to have noticed the change, but they hadn’t bothered to mention it to me.   
Something told me that this growth spurt would be my last. I could feel it. The face staring back at me was the face that I would look at for the rest of my life—hopefully minus the red eyes. Yesterday, I had appeared to be a normal, sixteen-year-old girl. Today, I looked eighteen, maybe twenty, and definitely too beautiful to be human. I didn’t want to stare at this new face for the rest of my life. I wanted to age, to grow old and live as much of a normal life as I could. Wasn’t it already bad enough that I was half-vampire? That I had to go through these awful cravings now? Why did I have to stop aging, too? It wasn’t fair.   
I could tell, just by looking at my new face, that the vampire side of me had become dominant. Somehow, I knew my human side would be practically nonexistent from now on. Perhaps I would become more like Nahuel, only eating human food to keep up the appearance that he had a healthy balance of both blood and food. He had confessed to me that human food was not as satisfying to him anymore. Would that be me? Would blood be the more satisfying part of my diet now?   
What would Jacob think, I wondered, when he saw the change? How would he react to the fact that I might be less human than I was? But, more importantly, how would he react to my eyes? They were practically vampire eyes. He’d notice them right away, without a doubt. He would know immediately something wasn’t right.   
It took me several long minutes—and a few deep breaths—before I could bring myself to leave the bathroom. In the living room, my parents were talking in low voices, and they looked up when I entered. I straightened my back, hoping I looked calm and composed.   
“You didn’t tell me that I had another growth spurt,” I said, and I winced at the sound of my voice. Even my voice sounded different now. Older. More alluring, almost—or maybe that was just my imagination.   
“We didn’t want to upset you,” Mom said. “Oh, Nessie. You look so grown up now. You’re so beautiful, sweetheart.”  
“Beautiful?” I laughed bitterly. “Mom, I don’t even recognize myself! I look... I look like a vampire.”   
“Don’t say it like that,” Dad said, sounding offended. “Like it’s a bad thing. It’s not a bad thing, Ness. You won’t age, you won’t get sick. You’ll be perfect forever. Being a vampire—or looking like one—is not so terrible.”  
“I know,” I said, guiltily. I sat in the armchair in the corner, facing them both. “I don’t like it. It’s not me. And my eyes... they’re red. Red, like the Volturi. Like monsters.”  
“The red will fade when your diet returns to normal,” Dad said. “But you can’t even tell, Nessie.”  
“Jacob will be able to tell,” I said quietly. “If he even recognizes me at all.”  
Dad looked sympathetically at me. “Of course he’ll recognize you. You don’t look that different, Nessie,” he said. “And he won’t care about your eyes, either. Jacob doesn’t care what you look like, Renesmee. You know that.”  
“He won’t want me anymore, because I look like a vampire,” I whispered, and a few tears fell down my cheek. I swiped them away quickly. I didn’t want to cry.   
“Oh, Nessie,” Mom said. She sounded heartbroken. “Don’t say that. Of course he will.”  
I looked at my parents, sitting side-by-side on the couch, holding hands, and felt a twinge of envy and resentment. Of course, it was easy for Mom to assume that. Dad had never thought she was anything but beautiful, had never for a second thought she was less than perfect. And she had thought the same about him. Of course, she would just assume that Jacob didn’t care how I looked. For my parents, nothing had mattered to them except that they loved each other. And some deep part of me knew that she was right, it didn’t matter. He wouldn’t care. But I did. I hated that I looked so perfect, so beautiful. How was I supposed to pretend that I was human when I looked too perfect? Even half-human, for that matter? Hell, for all I knew, I probably smelled different, too.   
“You don’t,” Dad said, and I glared at him. I hated when he read my mind. “Sorry. But you don’t smell any different, Ness. You still smell like you.”   
That was a relief, at least. “Good,” I said. “Well, on the bright side, maybe Aunt Alice will finally stop trying to give me makeovers all the time.”  
I tried to joke, but there was no humour in it. Mom forced a laugh, though. “So, Nahuel and his sisters provided us with some information about what happens when a hybrid finally reaches adulthood,” Dad said. “What’s happened to you is normal, as far as we know. Even the cravings, according to the other female hybrids, are normal. For hybrid standards, anyway.”  
“Nothing in my life is normal, Dad,” I said, and Mom tried to hide her smile. “It’s nice to know I’ve at least met the hybrid definition of it, though.”  
He smiled. “Anyways. Nahuel’s sister, and even Nahuel himself to an extent, experienced something similar to the things you’ve been going through recently. The cravings, the unexplained and random mood swings, the rapidly changing body temperature, the sudden heightened senses and bursts of strength snd speed, the increasing power of your gift, and your lack of appetite for human food. And now, your final growth spurt. All of those things lead up to the transition into adulthood.”   
“So, that’s it, then?” I asked. “I’ve reached maturity?”  
He nodded. “Yes. You won’t age anymore. You can still get sick, but it will happen very rarely,” he said. “Although, there is a problem. Because your body doesn’t age anymore, like a full vampire, it will no longer be possible for you to produce children.”  
I sucked in a breath. It stung, hearing that. I’d dreamed of having a family of my own since I was little. And now, in a second, it was gone. “Okay. That’s fine,” I said. “I mean, adoption is always an option.”  
I tried not to look at Mom, knowing I would see the sadness in her eyes. I didn’t need the sympathy to make it worse. “Yes,” Dad said. “At any rate, you would need to be tested to make sure. It’s just a theory so far. Carlisle can do the testing when you’re ready.”  
“Okay,” I said. Just a theory. How cruel of him to tell me that, to give me a little piece of hope that might still be taken away in an instant. How was I supposed to tell Jacob that the very reason imprinting existed—for the Shapeshifters to produce heirs and continue the gene—had been taken away from him because he had imprinted on me?   
“There are other things that come with maturity, however,” Dad continued. “Nahuel and his sisters struggle terribly with their thirst. Nahuel has adjusted to the “vegetarian” diet quite well, so to speak, but it is still extremely difficult for him, at times, to control his thirst for human blood. He does use blood bags, as you have been. For his sisters, it is even worse, as they give into their cravings completely. Luckily, their thirst only occurs once a month during their, um, time of the month, as you put it. It is when they are at their hungriest, and as a result, their deadliest. And they cannot control the thirst once they give in. I have never met a vampire in my lifetime that who has described their thirst as Nahuel has. Even Carlisle cannot recall meeting anyone with such an incredible thirst. The way Nahuel described it... it sounds excruciating. And he has it worse than his sisters, perhaps, as he gets it twice a month instead of once.”   
I shuddered inwardly. “Leah told me there is a way to control it. It works for Nahuel, at least, so there’s no reason it won’t work for me, too,” I said.   
“Nahuel did mention he found a way to partially control his thirst,” Dad said. “And that Leah helps. It’s just a theory so far, but I’m assuming that it’s their imprint that allows her to help him this way. I think that Leah, through their imprint, can give him the strength he needs to control the thirst. Anyone else who went near a vampire, even half a vampire, when he is out of control like that would probably be killed. But I think their imprint allows Leah to help him.”   
“That’s what Leah thinks, too. Well, she didn’t say it in so many words,” I said. “But at least there’s a way for me to control my thirst, too.”  
“There’s no reason for us to believe otherwise,” Mom said. “I think, Nessie, that you need Jacob as much as Nahuel needs Leah.”  
Dad nodded. “As long as you have Jacob, I have no reason to believe your thirst cannot be controlled,” he said.   
I hope your theory is right, Dad, I thought. “I’m going to tell Jacob what’s going on, but not right away. And for now, can you not say anything about your theory?” I asked. “I don’t want everyone to get all hopeful just yet.”  
“Of course,” Dad said. “Everything will be fine, Nessie. You’ll see.”   
I managed a small smile. I hoped he was right. 

~*~

When I finally decided to show my face at the House later that afternoon, my family’s reaction was pretty much as expected.   
For a long time, no one moved. They just stared at me with wide eyes. Uncle Emmet’s jaw actually dropped, and he looked like his eyes were going to pop out of his head. He only closed his mouth when Aunt Rose punched him in the arm.   
“What happened to you?” It was Daniel who spoke. He sounded awed. I hadn’t even realized my human cousins were in the room. Well, at least Daniel and Xander were. The girls were upstairs somewhere.   
“I had a growth spurt, again,” I said. We had explained what I was to them as best as we could, but it was still confusing to them. “My last one.”  
“So, you’re an adult hybrid now?” He asked.  
I nodded. “Well, not technically until her birthday,” Dad interrupted. “It’s only her last growth spurt.”  
“She’s fully grown. It doesn’t matter if she’s had her ninth birthday yet or not,” Uncle Emmett said. “As far as her body is concerned, she’s an adult.”   
“But there could be another growth spurt yet,” Aunt Rose interjected. “How do we know if she’s really fully grown? What if she still keeps aging?”  
“I won’t,” I said quietly. They all turned to look at me. “This is it, Aunt Rose. I’m not going to age anymore—I know it. This is what I’ll look like for the rest of eternity.”  
“You can’t be sure, Nessie, not really,” Aunt Rose said. Her stubbornness on the subject was infuriating. Why wouldn’t she just accept that I wouldn’t age anymore? “We don’t really know. We were wrong before—we could be wrong now.”   
“From what we gathered from Nahuel’s sisters, the female hybrid stops aging when they have reached the physical age of a fully matured human woman. Nahuel stopped aging seven years after his birth, but the female hybrids are different. His sisters, as we have been told, reach maturity nine years after they were born,” Grandpa said. “I believe, Rosalie, that Nessie has indeed reached maturity.”  
Aunt Rose pursed her lips. I didn’t get it—there was no reason for her to be so stubborn to admit that I had reached adulthood? Maybe she just didn’t want to see her niece grow up? But I had a feeling there was more to it than that. “As Nessie has truly stopped aging, then I believe now would be the time to start preparing for the future. For what may come,” Uncle Jasper said. “Daniel, Xander, would you please leave the room?”  
Daniel looked like he wanted to protest, but he and Xander went upstairs anyway. We waited until their footsteps had reached the top of the stairs and their bedroom door closed before anyone spoke again. “What do you mean, what might come?” I asked.  
“Well, we don’t know what to expect from a fully-matured female hybrid,” Uncle Jasper explained. “Nahuel has given us plenty of information, but that doesn’t mean we should take it as fact.”  
“You’re right,” Grandpa agreed. “We should prepare for what might come.”  
They were keeping something from me—I knew it. “What do you mean?” I demanded. “What are you not telling me?”   
“We decided that we wouldn’t tell you until you had reached maturity,” Grandpa said. “It seemed unfair to me to load all of our theories on you when there was a strong possibility that those theories were wrong. And knowing you, I didn’t want you to feel as though you had failed somehow when our theories proved to be wrong.”  
“What kind of theories are we talking about?” I asked. I didn’t like that they had kept this from me—another secret. Why should they keep secrets from me, when I could never hide anything from them? It wasn’t fair.   
“They’re just theories,” Dad said again. “But we believe that overtime, your gift may become much more powerful than it is. You might be able to transfer thoughts and images into another person’s mind without even touching them. That would give you the gift of true telepathy. You may even develop a gift similar to mine or Aro’s, where you can read a person’s thoughts when you touch a person as well as transfer your own thoughts into their mind.”   
I stared. I hadn’t even thought it was possible to develop a stronger gift, let alone a different one. But it made sense. When my Mom became a vampire, her shield grew stronger, and she was able to protect not just herself but others, too. “You’re saying I could become a mind-reader, and a telepath?” I said. “What about a shield? Could I develop a shield, too?”  
“It’s a possibility, but I don’t think it would be as powerful as your mother’s,” Dad said. “You might be very good at hiding your thoughts from me, and you might be able to block off your mind completely, overtime. But considering your existing gift, telepathy and mind-reading is what I believe you would most likely develop in the future.”   
“Great,” I said, making a face. “I don’t really like the idea of being able to read everyone’s minds.”   
“It’s not enjoyable,” he agreed. “But if you do develop that talent, you do get used to it. And you can learn to block it out as I do.”   
“If her gift becomes stronger, that might be a problem,” Uncle Emmett said. “If Aro finds out, he might decide that she’s valuable, and he might want her.”  
“I’d never join Aro,” I said, immediately, before anyone could speak. I saw my Mom smile out of the corner of my eye.   
“We’ve already spoken to Aro about our theory,” Grandpa said. “I don’t think you need to worry about him. He gave us more information about hybrids, as well. And he raised a few interesting questions himself. He seemed interested in finding out whether our theory is true or not, but I don’t think he would try to obtain you. We’ve reached a sort of uneasy alliance with the Volturi for now. He wants what will make him more powerful and he believes that I am, apparently, holding hostage several prizes that he would like to win. Not that any of you are prizes, of course, but that’s how he sees it. He has realized now that he will never get you if he tries to take you all by force, and has instead decided he will try to convince you to join him on your own. A clever plan, I admit, but unfortunately, he doesn’t seem to have realized just yet that he will never get what he wants.”  
“I’d rather die than be part of the Volturi,” Aunt Alice said quietly from the corner, speaking up for the first time.   
“So would I,” my Mom agreed. And I could have sworn that I saw her shudder. Even Uncle Jasper and my Dad nodded in agreement.   
“There’s not a single person in this room that would even for a moment consider joining the Volturi,” Dad said. “I know because I read your thoughts daily. The only one who has considered it is Alice, and only to protect us.”  
I tried to imagine Aunt Alice in a red cloak, standing next to Aro with her eyes turned crimson, smiling wickedly. I couldn’t.  
“Aro will never win,” Aunt Alice said, and she sounded confident. “We’re a family, Carlisle. He can’t tear us apart, and he certainly won’t convince us to join him, no matter how hard he tries. He can try for all eternity, for all I care. Anyways, he knows, deep down, that he ruined any chance he had at convincing us to join him when he brought his army and threatened Nessie. He’s just been stubborn and refuses to admit that he’s already lost.”   
There were more nods and murmurs of agreement. “This conversation is too dark,” Grandma said suddenly. “We shouldn’t be discussing such dreadful things. This should be a happy occasion! Nessie is an adult now—we should celebrate!”  
“I don’t feel like celebrating right now, actually,” I said, before they could get any ideas. “I’d rather celebrate on my birthday. And anyways, there’s something I have to do.”  
Dad looked at me, and from the knowing expression on his face, I knew he’d read my mind again. I didn’t mind so much this time. “That’s fine,” Grandma said, smiling. “Do what you need to. We’ll have chocolate cupcakes when you get back—the kind you like.”  
I thanked her, said goodbye, took the keys to Mom’s Ferrari, pulled on my jacket, and left the house.   
When I got into the front seat of the Ferrari, it didn’t smell like Mom. Mom never drove her Ferrari—she preferred the truck that Dad had bought her a few years back. Whenever we had to go anywhere as a family, my parents took Mom’s truck, and Jacob and I drove the Ferrari. So it was Jacob I smelled when I climbed into the front seat. The familiar scent of trees and rain and campfire smoke washed over me, and it was almost comforting. The constant hunger and rage of emotions seemed to be numbed.  
I’d decided, before I went to the house, that I didn’t want to have a possible argument with Jacob at Nikita’s birthday party tomorrow. If we were going to argue—and I had a feeling we probably would—it seemed better to me to do it where no one would eavesdrop. And besides, I had to stop putting it off. Not talking to him or seeing him was starting to physically hurt—like a constant stomach ache that didn’t seem to want to go away. I’d never been without him this long, I realized. And I decided that if I could help it, I never wanted to be without him again. 

~*~

 

When I got to the house, I didn’t get out of the car right away after I shut the engine off. I sat there, my hand still gripping the steering wheel so hard my knuckles were completely white, staring at the house. The porch light was on, and the curtains hadn’t been closed. I could see the TV through the window, and imagined Jacob lying on the couch like he always was. It was just Jacob who lived here now. Billy’d died a few years back, after he got a really bad pneumonia. It had been the hardest thing I’d ever gone through, watching him suffer, watching Jacob suffer. I’d been fourteen then—I’d just gone through one of my bigger growth spurts.   
I stared at the house for the longest time, my heart pounding in my chest. I was so nervous I could barely breathe. How would he react, when he saw me? What if he didn’t like how I’d changed?   
“Stop stalling,” I whispered to myself. I took a deep breath and forced myself to let go of the steering wheel. Then I got out of the car, and began walking to the front door.


	3. 3. At Last

3\. At Last 

 

I HESITATED AT THE DOOR FOR A MINUTE, TAKING SEVERAL DEEP BREATHS, AND then I knocked twice.   
When Jake opened the door, his eyes widened and he stared at me, disbelieving. For a second, I was afraid he might slam the door in my face. But he just kept staring, like he didn’t really believe what he was seeing.   
“Did I miss something? I was under the impression that I had ordered pizza, and the last time I checked, pizza doesn’t come in the form of beautiful girls,” he said finally.   
“They must have misplaced your order, then,” I said.   
He smiled a little. And then, to my surprise, he pulled me close, wrapping his arms around me. “I missed you, Nessie,” he murmured into my hair. “God, I missed you so much.”  
I said nothing, just enjoyed the feeling of his arms around me again. The loneliness I’d been feeling disappeared, along with my thirst and all the insane emotions I’d been having. When I lifted my head from his chest, I realized I was crying. “I’m sorry,” I said, wiping my tears away. “I’m so sorry I was such a bitch to you. You did nothing wrong. I was being stupid, and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”  
“Come inside,” he said, and he pulled me into the house, shutting the door behind us. We sat on the couch. “I’m not going to ask you for an explanation, but I’d like one. I’m sure you had a reason to be ignoring me like you were.”  
“You deserve an explanation,” I said. “The truth is that... well, I don’t know how to explain it. For the last week or so, my body has been going through some changes. I thought it was just my period, but it turned out it wasn’t. I had crazy mood swings and everything. And my appetite... well, it went out of whack. But today, I had my last growth spurt.”  
“This is it, then? It finally happened?” He asked. I nodded. “I guess that’s good then, right? You’ve... fully matured, as Dr. Fang put it.”  
He still called Grandpa that, even though it bothered me. “There’s more, though,” I said slowly. “When I said my appetite was out of whack this week, it was really out of whack. It happens, sometimes, when a hybrid reaches maturity. It’s like... the thirst that vampires get, but a hundred times more powerful. It was scary, Jake. And so painful.”  
I saw the understanding on his face, and his eyes widened. “You craved blood? Human blood?” He asked. And there was a twinge of disgust in his voice—he couldn’t hide it.   
“It wasn’t exactly my choice to want it,” I said, defensively. “I was starving, Jacob. Nothing was helping. What was I supposed to do, Jacob? It’s not like I killed anyone to get it—Grandpa brought me blood bags, just like he did when Mom was pregnant with me. It’s not like I wanted to. I had to, or I’d have hurt someone. Would you rather I’d hurt one of my cousins?”  
“No,” he said, taking a breath. “Sorry. I can’t help it—my instincts get the best of me sometimes. Is that why your eyes are different, then?”  
He sounded like he didn’t want to ask. “Yes,” I said. “But once my diet goes back to normal, my eyes will go back to normal, too.”  
“Good,” he said.   
I couldn’t help it—I flinched. “Well, nothing I can do about that, either,” I said. “I can put sunglasses on if it bothers you.”  
He seemed to realize he had insulted me, and looked guilty. “Sorry. I didn’t mean it as an insult, Ness. It’s just... it’s weird, seeing you with red in your eyes,” he said. “I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sorry.”  
“I know,” I said, sighing. “Like I said, my emotions are all over the place. I’m just a tiny bit sensitive right now, I guess.”  
“You look different,” he said. The way he said it, it was like he had been avoiding mentioning my appearance. “Older, I guess. More... mature. You could probably walk into a bar and order a drink without being asked for I.D.”   
“You don’t like it. The way I look now,” I said. It wasn’t a question.   
He didn’t answer right away. “It’s not that I don’t like it,” he said. “It’s just that I’m going to have a much harder time trying to hold back now.”  
“Hold back?” I stared at him. “What are you... Oh.” It dawned on me suddenly, what he meant. And I blushed.   
“Yeah. Oh,” he said.   
A smile broke out on my face, and I sat there, grinning like an idiot. “Do you want to kiss me, Jacob Black?” I whispered.   
He froze. And suddenly, there was a knock on the door. He jumped off the couch, mumbling something about pizza being here. I hid my face in my hands while he paid for the pizza and rummaged in the kitchen for plates. How stupid was I? I could’ve kicked myself. I should never have said anything. I probably just ruined the whole night.   
I didn’t look up until he had set the plates and pizza on the coffee table. He hadn’t bothered to put a slice on his plate. I forced myself to look at him, and found him watching me with an almost embarrassed expression on his face.   
“I don’t know what I’m doing,” he said.   
My heart thumped loudly in my chest. God, I was so nervous. “You take pizza from the box, put it on your plate, and eat. You’ve done this a million times before,” I said, pretending to be oblivious.  
“You know what I meant,” he said, sighing and running his fingers through his hair—a nervous habit of his. “I don’t know what this means. have no idea what I’m—what we’re—supposed to do. There’s not a guidebook. Imprinting 101: What to do when your imprint decides that she’s ready for a more serious relationship.”  
I might have found it funny, how unprepared he was, if I wasn’t just as nervous. He wasn’t supposed to be nervous. He was supposed to be ready. I thought he was waiting for this. “I don’t think there’s supposed to be rules,” I said. “I think it just happens how it happens. There doesn’t need to be a perfect moment.”   
“I wanted to tell you first,” he said. “I was supposed to tell you, and then you were supposed to tell me that you felt the same, and then I would kiss you. I had it all planned out in my head and everything. I even wrote down what I was going to say, but I burnt the paper in case someone found it and made fun of me.”   
I moved closer to him so that I was almost sitting on his lap. I wrapped my fingers in his shirt. “How does it go? The kiss?” I whispered. My heart was pounding and I could barely breathe.   
He leaned slightly forward, wrapping his arm around my waist. “Like this,” he whispered. And then he kissed me.   
Time seemed to freeze. In an instant, everything I had wanted, everything I’d dreamed of, was finally, finally a reality. And it was perfect, just how I imagined it would be. Nothing could be better than this, right now.   
In that moment, I understood the imprint. It was undeniable now, that we belonged together. We belonged together in such a way that it was unexplainable. If soul mates existed, he was mine, and I was his.

~*~

 

After the first kiss, I wasn’t aware of much else. I didn’t know how much time had passed—it could have been years for all I knew. I only knew that I never wanted this to end. We were wrapped up in each other’s arms, and I had no intention of moving.   
Our kissing was interrupted when his stomach started growling, and I had to pull back, giggling. We managed to pull away from each other long enough to eat a few slices of pizza. He reluctantly got up to put the leftovers in the fridge and clean up the dishes, but when he returned, we cuddled on the couch, wrapped in each other’s arms, and neither of us had moved since.  
I would have been perfectly content to lie there forever, snuggled against his chest as he played with my hair. Every few minutes, I would turn my head to look at him, and catch him smiling, and then the kissing would begin all over again. Every kiss seemed to be better than the last. I couldn’t believe I had lived so long without knowing this feeling of bliss.   
“How did we manage all these years without this?” I asked, my fingers tracing the back of his hand. “I can’t imagine anything better than this.”  
“Hmm,” he murmured. “You have no idea how many times I just wanted to hold you like this. It was almost impossible to hold back. I don’t think I would have been able to much longer.”  
I twisted around to face him. “How long have you wanted me like this?” Now that he had mentioned it, some part of me yearned to know when he stopped seeing as a little girl, and started seeing me as the woman he loved.   
“Hmm... since your seventh birthday, I guess,” he said. “But I didn’t feel right acting on my feelings, when you were still aging. I told myself that unless you made the move first, I would wait. I admit that there were times when I wanted to kiss you so badly I thought I’d go crazy.”   
I smiled. “That long?” I asked, and he nodded.  
“And then, you started pulling away out of nowhere. You stopped hugging me when I came over. You didn’t lean against my shoulder when you got tired anymore. I didn’t know what had happened. I only knew that you were pulling away, and it scared me,” he said. “And it was a damn lucky thing that Leah imprinted on Nahuel because you were starting to watch him more. You would blush all the time around him. I wanted to kill him for it, you know.”  
“I didn’t... I didn’t realize you noticed that,” I said, and I could feel myself blushing. I didn’t think anyone knew about my little girlhood crush on Nahuel. Except maybe Uncle Jasper, and my Dad. It had been short-lived, my stupid crush. But I could understand Jacob’s jealousy. There had been a time where I had once been jealous of him and Leah, too.   
“Leah?” Jacob said incredulously, and I realized that I had accidentally transferred that thought to him. “You were jealous of Leah? And me? Why?”  
“She’s a Shapeshifter,” I said gloomily. “And she’s really pretty. And she’s your Beta. Besides, you guys are really close. It’s not that ridiculous.”  
“Nessie, you realize that the whole point of being imprinted is that you can never love anyone else, right?” He said. “Even if there was a time when Leah or I considered... it wouldn’t have happened. Not when I was already imprinted to you.”  
“I know that now. And you realize that I never would have had anything with Nahuel, either, right? Because he thinks of me as a little girl. I’m like a little sister to him, if anything,” I said. “It was just a stupid childish crush.”  
He sighed. “I know,” he said. “Neither of us ever had any reason to be jealous of anyone, really. I guess my jealousy over Nahuel was because you were pulling away from me, and I didn’t know why.”  
“I was scared,” I admitted. “I had started to realize what was expected of me as an imprint, and it scared me. I didn’t want to be an imprint like Rachel and Leah and Emily and Kim.”   
“I didn’t realize I was that mortifying,” he said. If someone else had said it, it might’ve sounded like they were hurt, but he said in a tone that said he was only teasing.   
“It wasn’t you. I just wasn’t ready,” I said. “I wasn’t ready physically, mentally, or emotionally, to be in a romantic relationship with you.”   
“And what about now? Are you sure you’re ready for this?” He asked. “Because you have to know that I’m not going to pressure you, Nessie. If you decide you’re still not ready, then I’ll keep waiting until you are.”  
I kissed him suddenly, hard. This kiss was different than the others. It was the kind of kiss that was passionate, the kind that you saw in romantic movies and those soaps that Grandma Esme liked watching. A kiss that ignited a fire deep inside of me that I didn’t realize had wanted to burn.   
When I pulled back, we were both left gasping, and his eyes were wide. “D-does that answer your question?” I got out, breathing heavily.  
“I guess so,” he managed.   
And then, a phone started ringing. He actually growled, and I reluctantly moved off him as he got up to grab his cell phone from the kitchen. I followed him into the kitchen as he answered it. “You have terrible timing, Edward,” he said. “Yeah, yeah. Nessie’s here. Fine. I’ll give her the phone.”   
I groaned and took the phone from him. “I cannot believe you called here looking for me,” I said, hoping I sounded really annoyed.   
“I just wanted to make sure you were actually there, and not out gallivanting in Seattle in some club or something like that,” Dad said. “It’s not that I don’t trust you. I just wanted to make sure you weren’t out partying somewhere.”  
“Dad,” I said exasperatedly. “I told you to stop reading those parenting websites. I’m not going to be a rebellious teenager. Stop worrying yourself for no reason. I said I was going to Jake’s, and that’s where I am.”   
He sighed loudly. “You know, I almost wish that you were actually at some crazy party in Seattle,” he said. “Did you take those... pills that you’re supposed to take?”  
“Dad!” I exclaimed, horrified.   
He chuckled. “Save your old man some worry, Nessie,” he said.   
“Yes, Dad. I took my damn birth control this morning,” I said, stressing the words. “But it doesn’t matter, because we are not doing anything.”   
“I’m not an idiot, you know,” Dad said. “I know what it’s like when you’re... well, young and in love. Well, I wasn’t young, technically. But your mother was. Anyway... I’m just making sure you’re protected.”   
“You’re embarrassing, you know,” I said. “Jacob and I will not be having any sex tonight, I promise.”   
He groaned. “Do you have to say it like that? Good God, your mother was never so blunt about it. But fine, I believe you. Alice will be bringing clothes soon. I figured you’d want to stay the night, even if you aren’t... engaging in romantic activities in the bedroom.”  
“Romantic activities in the bedroom?” I repeated, and Jacob raised an eyebrow. I could tell he was struggling not to laugh. “Dad, you’re so old-fashioned. It’s not a crime to say sex, you know. God knows you and Mom have only done it over a thousand times. Didn’t you break a bed once?”  
“Renesmee!” Dad said, sounding completely mortified. “Give the phone to Jacob now, please.”   
I handed the phone to Jake, who had managed, somehow, not to laugh. I decided to give him some privcacy, and went to the bathroom, closing the door behind me with a smile.  
In the mirror, I could tell my lipstick was ruined, and my hair was a mess, and my cheeks were flushed. Even my eyes appeared to be sparkling. I stood there, grinning at my reflection like an idiot.   
It still felt like a dream. That Jacob had actually kissed me, and that I had kissed him back—that we had done so several times. I couldn’t remember the last time I had felt so ridiculously happy. It felt like I was floating. I wondered if that was what it was like to be in love. To be so overjoyed, and to have this sense of completeness, like everything was finally right in the world and you were finally where you were supposed to be. If this was what it felt like to be in love, then it truly was the best feeling in the world.   
I nearly skipped out of the bathroom a few minutes later, and found Jake still in the kitchen. He looked up when I entered, and smiled. “Do you want to go for a run?” He asked. “No one’s out tonight—it’ll be just us.”   
Just us sounded amazing. “That sounds great, actually,” I said. “I’d love to.” At this point, he could have suggested we go skydiving or something equally insane and I’d have probably gone along as long as it meant we were together.  
He grabbed some extra clothes and shut off the lights in the living room. We left a note for Aunt Alice taped to the front door, just in case, telling her where we’d gone and to just leave the clothes on the porch, and then we left. 

~*~

 

I’d always found it exhilarating, to run side by side with Jacob in his wolf form. Running with him had always given me a sense of calm, like all was right in the world. Running with him in wolf form was something that seemed so amazing to me—just a seemingly normal human girl running next to a giant wolf. Something about the whole thing just seemed so crazy and amazing at the same time.   
This time it was different, though. This time we were partners—this time, it gave me a sense of completeness, of absolute harmony.   
We ran side by side for a while. Eventually, though, he got bored and started a game of tag. We chased each other through the trees, laughing (well, I was laughing, he gave this sort of bark that could have been a laugh). We stopped when we came across a small deer and I realized that I hadn’t hunted today. He let me have the whole thing, and found himself a small rabbit to eat instead. Then, we came across a small river, and stopped to get a drink. Afterwards, Jake changed back into human form and changed, and for a while, we just lay underneath an oak tree, his arms wrapped around me.   
“I’ve always wondered what this would be like, you know,” he said, at last. “What it would be like to sit here with you after a run. It’s just as I imagined it would be.”  
“Hmm,” I said. “It feels amazing to do this. Do be able to do this at all. We can do whatever we want now, you know. We don’t have to hold back anymore.”  
He laughed softly. “Whatever we want... That sounds amazing,” he said. “Though, I think your Dad might have a few objections when it comes to certain things.”  
I grinned. I had a perfectly good idea I knew exactly what my Dad would object to. Thinking of my Dad made me think of something else, though. “I wonder how everyone’s going to react tomorrow,” I said. “When we show up at the house together.”  
“I don’t think they’ll make a big deal of it,” he said. “Well, your aunts might. Rosalie definitely will. And Emmett will probably try to embarrass us. But other than that, I don’t see them making a big deal out of it. They all knew it was a matter of time, anyway. I think they’ll be more happy than anything.”  
“I don’t like the idea of an interrogation,” I said. “I can only imagine the questions Aunt Rose and Aunt Alice are going to ask. And they’ll want to know everything. They’ll probably corner me in the bathroom or something.”  
“Probably,” he said, and sighed. “I’ll have it worse, though. I have to deal with your uncles. Especially Emmett. And your Dad.”  
I laughed. “We’ll be fine,” I said. “We can handle them.”   
“I hope so,” he said. “It’s getting late. Do you want to go back to the house yet?”  
I snuggled against his chest, enjoying his warmth. “Not really,” I said. “Let’s just stay here for a while.”  
“Okay,” he said.   
I smiled and closed my eyes, and lie there listening to his heartbeat. 

~*~

 

I didn’t remember falling asleep, but when I woke up again, I was curled up in Jacob’s bed. He must have carried me back to the house, but I was alone now. I could hear him talking softly to someone in the living room, though.   
I turned on the lamp on the nightstand, crawled out of bed, and left the room. It was late—or early, I couldn’t tell, and my nose registered the distinct scent of different animals, mixed with a strange wet-smell.   
It took me a moment for my brain to register who Jake was talking to. For a moment, I stood there, in the hallway, staring at her.  
She seemed to notice that I was staring, because she suddenly turned to look at me, and a huge grin spread across her face. “Hey, sleepy head,” Leah said. “Surprised to see me?”  
I opened my mouth, but no words formed. I was too stunned to say anything. “What are you doing here?” I asked at last.   
“Rude,” she sniffed. “I came to see you, of course.”  
I looked at Jake, and he shrugged. “She showed up out of nowhere about ten minutes ago,” he said. “I had no idea she was coming.”   
“When did you get here? To Forks, I mean?” I asked, my brain finally waking up enough to process what was going on properly.  
“About an hour or two ago,” she said. “I caught the earliest flight I could. I stopped by the Cullens first, but your parents said you were with Jake, so I came here instead. And, may I just add, it’s about frigging time, you two.”  
I blushed. Jake was grinning. “Is it that obvious?”   
“Obvious?” She laughed. “Uh, yeah. This place stinks like you two decided to roll around in each other’s close. Or roll around naked, whatever. Don’t tell me the details. I get enough nightmares.”  
“You’re still having them?” Jake asked, almost quietly. I wondered what he meant. No one had ever said anything about Leah having nightmares to me.  
“No,” she said, and from the sharpness in her voice, I knew she was lying. “It was a figure of speech, Jake. Relax. Anyways, do you mind if I stay here tonight? It’s late, and I don’t feel like dealing with my mother just yet.”  
“Of course you can stay here,” Jake said automatically. “You don’t even need to ask. Where’s your stuff? I’ll grab it for you. And there’s leftover pizza in the fridge—you can help yourself if you’re hungry.”  
“I’m starved,” she said, walking into the kitchen and opening the fridge. “My suitcase is in the rental car.”  
Jake left to go grab her stuff, and I sat at the breakfast bar, watching her as she put a few slices of pizza on a plate and put it in the microwave. “So it’s just you, then?” I asked.   
“Yep,” she said. “Nahuel’s still in New York until tomorrow, but he’ll be coming probably tomorrow night. Once he gets the pictures sent to his boss and everything.”  
“There’s no rush for him to get here,” I said. “In fact, you didn’t have to come at all. I would’ve been fine.”  
She shrugged, pulling her pizza out of the microwave and sitting next to me. “Bella called. Said something about you getting your last growth spurt, and that you could probably use ‘extra support’, or something,” she said. I rolled my eyes. “Hey, her words, not mine. Believe me, I was shocked that she even called me. I was at work, too. I’m pretty sure I may have said a few profanities that my boss wouldn’t have appreciated—but luckily I was alone at the time. I figured she must have been pretty desperate if she was calling me, so I booked the first flight that was available and started packing ASAP. And then I get here and find that you and Jake have finally made the move. That was not something I wanted to interrupt, believe me.”  
I smiled. It had taken a long, long time for my Mom and Leah to tolerate each other. Leah had hated my Mom for the longest time, and even now that they were able to stand being in the same room without shooting dirty looks at each other (well, mostly it was Leah who’d done the glaring), I doubted they would ever be best friends.   
“Well, as you can see, I did have my growth spurt,” I said. “But it really wasn’t necessary to come all the way down here.”  
“I didn’t want to, really,” she said. “But my own mother has been nagging me to come and visit, so I decided I may as well get it over with. Maybe if I succumb to her pleas now, she might not bug me until Christmas.”  
She rolled her eyes, and I laughed. Leah’s mom, Sue, was married to my Mom’s Dad, Charlie (which made them step-sisters, a fact neither acknowledged). Sue didn’t like that Leah had moved to Portland, and she especially didn’t like that she was imprinted (and was now engaged) to a half-vampire. She thought that both Nahuel and I were “abominations” (though everyone pretended that wasn’t what she’d actually said, I knew better), and that we shouldn’t exist. Then Leah, smart-mouth that she is, had pointed out that technically, as a female shapeshifter, she was also an “abomination”, because female shapeshifters weren't supposed to exist either. Sue had shut up after that, but I doubted she was going to have any warm-and-fuzzy feelings toward Nahuel (and certainly not me) any time soon.  
“Is she still trying to find ways to break an imprint?” I asked.   
Leah took a bite of her pizza and avoided answering. “Well, she hasn’t stopped looking through the old folklore books,” she said. “But she thinks it should be simple. Like a breakup, or a very, very painful divorce. She keeps trying to convince me that the imprint will simply shatter if I “let” Nahuel go, and vice versa. And she thinks that if she can force us apart long enough, the imprint will just shatter anyway.”  
“Did you tell her that last one is very unlikely to happen?” Asked Jacob from the doorway, and I jumped a little, having not realized he was there. “Because after this week, I think that if separation were the key, my imprint would’ve gone poof for sure.”   
Leah nodded, and I felt a little guilty—and, at the same time, glad that the imprint hadn’t gone “poof” in the last week. “I’ve also mentioned that considering the amount of time Nahuel and I spend away from each other, with work and everything, it is highly unlikely it works like that,” she said. “Thanks, by the way.”  
“This is a lot of stuff,” Jacob said, indicating the huge suitcase and smaller duffel bag he had carried into the house. “For a girl who literally wears the same pair of jeans and a different T-shirt seven days a week, you have a Hell of a lot of clothing. How long are you planning to stay for, anyway?”  
“As long as Nessie needs me,” she answered. “And about the clothes, I’ll have you know, my style has been improved since I was here last. You can hardly have a fiance who goes around photographing other people’s clothes and look like crap, can you? And anyway, I can’t go around in the same jeans and T-shirt around here. Alice would have at me in a second if she sees me wearing the crap I normally wear. I’ll do anything I can to prevent a mini-makeover. I’m not even sure the wardrobe I brought will be enough to keep her at bay.”  
I laughed, but I was sympathetic. Aunt Alice loved, more than anything, giving makeovers. She had the most fun trying to get Leah to try on outrageous dresses, skirts, and other girly clothes that Leah would never be caught dead in. It was entertaining to watch, though I did feel bad for her, having been the victim of many mini-makeovers myself (although mine were nowhere near as extensive as Leah’s usually wore. I had only ever seen Leah in a dress twice, and both times she’d had the expression of someone who was being forced into something very unpleasant. The first time had been at Emily and Sam’s wedding when I was five, and the second at her mother and Grandpa Charlie’s wedding the following year. Both times, she had only worn a dress because she had been the maid of honour in both weddings. And both times, she had complained about it the whole time, claiming that the dresses were “itchy” and said that “it’s unnatural for a woman’s breasts to be squished so much; I doubt my boobs will ever be the same again”, which had resulted in laughter from the various women around.   
“Right,” Jake said, rolling his eyes. His voice pulled me out of my thoughts. “Do you mind sleeping in the master bedroom?”  
Leah’s face softened and I glanced at him, worriedly. Even with Billy being gone three years now, he still couldn’t bring himself to sleep in the master bedroom, which, with the two of us, would probably be a lot more comfortable, and preferred his tiny, no-bigger-than-a-closet bedroom. “Sure, I don’t mind,” Leah said, and I thought her voice sounded a little shaky. Almost like she might be about to cry. “I’ll bring my stuff in, and we should all probably go to bed. I don’t know about you guys, but I’m exhausted.”  
She took her luggage, grunting a little at the weight of it, and went down the hall to the master bedroom. The door closed softly behind her a moment later, and I turned to Jake.   
“Have you ever thought about moving?” I wasn’t the first person to ask him, but it was the first time I had asked.   
There was pain in his eyes when he looked at me. “I can’t,” he said, and his voice cracked. “I couldn’t leave this place, Ness. This is where I grew up, this is where my parents’ lived together. This is where most of my memories are... No. I can’t move.”  
“Alright,” I said. Grandpa would have told him that it wasn’t the place that held the memories, but the person. But I couldn’t tell him that. Instead, I got up and walked over to him, wrapping my arms around him. “It’s okay.”  
“Thank you,” he said, and I felt his lips kiss the top of my head. “I need more time. Give me more time, and then we can talk about it.”  
“Okay,” I said. But I wondered how much more time he would need. I couldn’t imagine what he was going through, and I wanted to make his hurt and sadness go away. But I couldn’t. The only thing I could do was try to comfort him. “Whenever you’re ready, I’m here.”  
Maybe that was enough for now. But eventually, I knew that Jake was going to have to face the fact that Billy was gone, and that holding onto the house wasn’t going to make him come back. Billy wouldn’t ever come back. Deep down, Jake knew that. But he had kept the house he had lived in with his father exactly the same for three years. Nothing had changed. His avoidance of the master bedroom was a small thing. But soon, he needed to accept that his father was really gone. The longer he held onto his grief, the harder it would be for him to move on. 

~*~

The next morning, I awoke to the smell of bacon and cheese wafting through the house, and my stomach growled. Jacob loved making breakfast for me. When I was little and he used to stay overnight at the cottage, he would always insist on making breakfast for me And no one—not even Dad or Grandma—made bacon and cheese omelettes quite as good as his.   
I crawled out of bed, turned on the lamp, and opened the duffel bag. Last night, I’d just searched through it until I had found pyjama bottoms, and I hadn’t gotten a good look at what Aunt Alice had packed. But now, in daylight, I could see that she had gone a little overboard.  
She had packed lingerie. A slinky, black lace thong that I wouldn’t have been caught dead in, and a lacy black bra that looked as if it was extremely itchy and uncomfortable, and some kind of dark purple, see-through coverup thing just as lacy and slinky. I stared at it in horror, refusing to touch it.   
I’m going to kill her, I thought, numbly, as I managed to shove the lingerie as far into the bottom of the bag as I could. The other clothes were just as bad—there wasn’t a single pair of jeans or pants in there. Deciding I would change into something decent when I got to home later (after I finished chewing her out, in private), I pulled on a floral-printed dress and quickly brushed through my hair.  
In the kitchen, Jake was sliding an omelette onto a plate. He turned around when I entered, and smiled at me.   
“Morning,” he said cheerfully. “Leah’s still asleep, and your Dad already called. We’re not needed at the house until later, so we have the morning to ourselves. Well, ourselves and Leah. When she wakes up, that is.”  
I grinned and sat at the breakfast bar. He set the omelette in front of me, and leaned over to kiss me. “Mmm,” I said when he pulled away. “I could get used to this.”  
“Better than sleeping in the same bed?” He asked.   
I considered. “Hmm. Yes,” I said, and kissed him again. “Definitely.”  
There was a loud cough behind us, and I pulled away. Leah was standing there, her eyebrows raised. She was dressed, and had her purse in her hands. “Sorry to interrupt,” she said. “But I’m heading out. I’m gonna go to my Mom’s—she’s invited me for breakfast. Anyway, I’ll see you two later?”  
“You’re leaving already?” I was disappointed. I’d been hoping to talk to her before she left. “Are you sure?”   
“Yeah,” Leah said. “Might as well get it over with, right? Besides, you two look busy... So, um, I’ll be leaving now. See you lovebirds at the party.”  
“Do you want help with your bags?” Jake asked. He looked almost happy that she was leaving—like he wanted privacy.   
“Nah. I’ll come by to get them later, after I decide where I’m staying,” she said. “Thanks for letting me stay, though. And for the pizza.”  
“Of course,” he said. “You’re welcome to stay anytime. Tell Sue that we said hello.”  
I coughed, and went to give her a hug. She hugged me back. “We’ll talk later, kiddo,” she whispered.   
When she let me go, she waved, winked, and headed out the door. A minute later we heard her car pull out of the driveway, and we were alone at last.   
“Finally,” Jake said, pulling me into his arms. “I get to have you all to myself.”  
I laughed, and he kissed me.

~*~

 

We spent the morning cuddling on the couch, watching bad movies on the TV, and when it was time to leave, I decided to leave a change of clothes in the drawer in Jake’s bedroom, just in case, and the extra toiletries in the bathroom. I’d never left anything of mine behind when I stayed overnight, and it felt special to me to leave my things at his place. It was the kind of thing girlfriends did, and I liked it.   
“Ready to face your family?” Jake asked. We were in the Ferrari now—he was driving. I think he must have noticed I was nervous because I was tapping my fingers on the seat anxiously, and playing with my hair.   
“No,” I said honestly. “I’m a little nervous. I’ve never done this before. The whole boyfriend-girlfriend thing.”  
“You’re nervous?” He laughed, but it was a shaky, almost forced laughed. “Nessie, I’m a little terrified. I mean, I know it’s not like I don’t know your family, so it’s not like the traditional meeting them for the first time kind of a thing, but I’m still terrified. I’ve never done this before either.” I saw now that his hands were gripping the steering wheel a little too tightly. And he hadn’t turned on the radio, either. He always had the radio on when he drove. It was a sign he was just as nervous as I was.   
“I know,” I said. “It’ll be fine. Just think of it as walking into a den of sort of friendly lions, who are most likely waiting to ambush you.”  
“Great,” he said. “That makes me feel so much better. Lions’ den. Yeah. That’s a good metaphor, Nessie. Thank you.”  
I rolled my eyes. Excessive sarcasm was another sign he was probably nervous. “Stop worrying, Jake,” I said. “You know my parents and everyone else—well, except Aunt Rose, but that’s just her—likes you. You’ll be completely fine.”  
He sighed. “You’re right,” he said. “But the thing is, it’s different. I want them all to like me, and to be happy for us. Even Rosalie. As much as I kinda hate her, her approval still matters to you, and therefore matters to me.”  
“That’s sweet, Jake,” I said honestly. “But Aunt Rose is just one person, and she’ll come around eventually. I’m not worried. And if she doesn’t, well she can’t do anything about it. You’re just stressing out.”  
He nodded. “Right,” he said. “It’ll be fine. Nothing to worry about.” But still looked slightly pale, and almost a little nauseous. I found the whole thing hilarious, actually, and I was trying not to laugh at him. I knew he was nervous, and I didn’t blame him. I wasn’t so much as nervous as happy. At last, we were together. And now, I was looking forward to introducing him as my boyfriend for the first time.   
I reached over to touch his shoulder, sending comforting thoughts to him. I saw his shoulders start to relax and I knew it had worked. “It’ll be fine,” I told him. “We’re together. That’s all that matters.”


	4. 4. Celebration

4\. Celebration 

 

WHEN WE REACHED THE HOUSE, I WAS UNSURPRISED TO FIND THAT IT WAS complete chaos. Aunt Alice, as usual, had gone all out for the party. The front steps had a bunch of mason jars with candles in them, and there was a huge banner hung above the door, which proclaimed, in pink sparkly letters: HAPPY BIRTHDAY NIKITA. The inside of the house looked like Barbie had thrown up in it. There was pink everywhere. Pink table-cloths covered the large table against the window, where Aunt Rose was setting up the snacking station. There was already a large pile of presents in the corner, and huge balloons everywhere. Uncle Emmett was putting up streamers, and a disco ball (probably the only thing that wasn’t pink) hung in the middle of the room.   
“Nessie!” Aunt Rose exclaimed when she saw us. She set down the pink cups and ran over to hug us. “You’re finally back. Alice has gone insane.”  
“I can tell,” I said, laughing. “Where’s everyone else? I’m surprised we weren’t ambushed when we pulled in the driveway.”  
“Oh, Alice and Carlisle took the girls to a ballet lesson. Apparently she booked a private lesson in Seattle with one of the best ballet instructors. But they should be back soon, they left ages ago. Esme and your Mom are in the kitchen preparing the food. Jasper and your Dad are in the backyard setting up the tables.”  
“A private lesson? Wow,” I said. Nikita would definitely love that—she loved dancing, but after Grandma Esme and Grandpa Carlisle had taken her to see The Nutcracker a couple years ago as a Christmas present, she’d fallen completely in love with ballet, and now she took classes in a new studio in Forks.   
“She was completely over the moon about it. You should’ve seen her this morning,” Aunt Rose said, smiling. “Anyway, Jake, I’m sure Jasper and Edward wouldn’t mind extra help with the tables. If you don’t mind?”   
He looked a little shocked that she had called him Jake. “Sure. I’ll see you in a bit,” he leaned over to give me a quick kiss and then went to the door again. I could’ve sworn I heard him mutter “I think I liked mutt better” under his breath, but the door closed so I wasn’t completely sure if I’d really heard it.   
“You’re blushing, Nessie,” Aunt Rose informed me. But her eyes were twinkling—she was clearly pleased. “Go see your Mom. I gotta finish up here.”  
She turned to walk away, and I shook my head. My Mom and Grandma Esme were in the kitchen, once again busy with food. “Nessie!” My Mom said. I walked over to give her a kiss, and sat on a stool at the island. “How was your night?”  
“Fine,” I said. “Thanks for coercing Dad into letting me stay. I know it was you.”  
She pretended that she hadn’t heard me, but she was smiling. “Did you see Leah?” She asked instead. “She stopped by, but we told her that you were over in La Push.”  
“Yep. She stayed the night, but she had to go see her mom this morning,” I said. “I’ve kinda been waiting all morning to talk to you.”  
“Oh? What’s up?” She didn’t even look at me.   
I looked at Grandma Esme, who just shrugged, and I sighed. “Mom, you haven’t even looked at me since I got here,” I said.  
She glanced up, but didn’t meet my eyes. “What did you want to talk to me about?”   
“I was hoping that we could talk about last night,” I said. “You know, my first kiss, the fact that I’m now in a relationship for the first time?”  
“Honey, I’m busy with the cooking right now. Can’t we talk about it after?” She asked.   
I blanched as if she’d hit me. “You’ve never had a problem talking with me about Jake before,” I said quietly.   
“It’s different now,” she said. “I’m sure Rose would talk to you, if you wanted.”  
I sucked in a breath. Grandma looked like she wanted to escape. “You know, if it makes you uncomfortable, because of your past, then just tell me. Don’t act like...”  
“Like what?” She asked. She finally looked at me, really looked at me. “Act like what, Renesmee? Like it doesn’t bother me? Because it does bother me.”  
“But why?” I was nearly crying. “Why? Because you used to have feelings for him? Because it makes you uncomfortable that I’m actually happy?”   
“Of course not!” She exclaimed. “Because you’re a child! You’re still a little girl, Renesmee! Just because you look like you’re nineteen doesn’t mean you are. You’re not even really nine years old yet!”  
I got down from the stool. “I am not a child!” I shrieked. “Just because you haven’t accepted the fact that I grew up fast doesn’t mean I have to act like a little girl! I’m not a little girl, Mom! You need to wake up and get that through your head! And thanks a lot, for ruining what I was hoping would be a really good day!”  
“Renesmee,” she started to say, but I ignored her. I stormed out of the kitchen and through the living room, ignoring the fact that Aunt Rose and Uncle Emmett were staring at me with wide-eyes. I walked out of the house and slammed the door behind me. 

 

~*~ 

 

Ten minutes later, I found myself in my bedroom in the cottage, curled up on the bed. I didn’t move when the front door opened, though I could smell that it was Jake. He appeared in my bedroom doorway a few seconds later.  
“Hey,” he said. “Are you okay?”  
I looked up at him, ready to snap what do you think? but I shook my head instead. He sighed, and came over to sit on the bed with me, wrapping his arms around me. “Esme told me you fought with your Mom,” he said. “Do you want to talk about it?”  
“Not really,” I mumbled. “I just... I was so excited to tell her about last night, you know? I thought she would be happy. But she wouldn’t even look at me, Jake. She just acted like... like she didn’t have a clue.”  
“You know it makes her uncomfortable,” he said. “And you grew way up too quickly for her. She’s still having trouble trying to admit that you aren’t her little baby anymore.”  
“I know that,” I said, sighing. “I just... I wanted her to be happy for me, for us. She told me that I could talk to Aunt Rose instead if I wanted, Jake. She didn’t even want to talk to me about last night at all. We used to be able to talk about everything. I could talk to her about you anytime I wanted. But lately, she just shuts herself off whenever I mention anything about you. And I get that you used to have a relationship or whatever, and I get that it makes her uncomfortable, but I wish she would just try to talk to me. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love my aunties, but I would rather not talk to them about everything.”   
“She’s difficult,” he admitted. “I know you want to talk to her, but I think she needs to realize that you really aren’t a little girl anymore and accept the fact. I think your Dad has told her exactly how I feel about you, and I think maybe it scared her. I think it scares her even more now that she realizes that you feel the same. I think she’s afraid that because you’ve grown up so quickly, you won’t need her so much anymore.”  
“But that’s not true at all,” I said. “Of course I still need her—that’s ridiculous. I’m not just going to push her away because I’ve reached adulthood. Why would she think that?”  
“You never seemed to need her, really,” he said. I started to speak, but he held up a hand. “I’m not saying you don’t. I’m just saying that you always wanted me, or your Dad, or Carlisle, when you were hurt or upset as a kid. You never turned to her unless they weren’t around. And when you needed advice, you went to Rosalie or Jasper, or sometimes, rarely, Alice or Esme. Your Mom was the person to tuck you in at night and read your bedtime stories, but you never seemed to need her for anything. She was a comfort, a hand to hold, but never a shoulder to cry on or a listening ear. I know you love her. But can you maybe see where she might feel... unneeded, just a little?”  
I stared at him. I’d never thought about it that way. I always thought we had a good relationship, my Mom and I. But didn’t I have the same relationship with my Aunts and Uncles and grandparents? Maybe I wasn’t as close to her as I’d thought. “So what do I do?” I asked. “What do I do to make it better?”  
“I don’t know,” he said. “But you can start by assuring her that you do still need her, and that you’re not going anywhere anytime soon?”  
“Okay,” I said. “Thank you. For talking to me about this.”  
He smiled. “Anytime,” he said. “That’s what boyfriends are for, right?”  
I laughed, feeling a thrill run through me at the word boyfriend. We sat on my bed for a while, talking. Having him there made me realize how much I’d missed him in the last couple of weeks, and how much better I felt now that he was there. Maybe Leah was really onto something when she said that an imprint was like a rock and without them, you felt like you were sinking. And Jake was most definitely my rock. 

~*~

 

We left the cottage when we started to hear cars, and were greeted by Aunt Alice, who was directing all of the cars to the garage out back.   
“Nessie!” She exclaimed cheerfully. I gave her a hug. She leaned toward my ear. “Did you use what I left in the bag?”  
If I’d been drinking anything, I’d have started choking. I had forgotten about the lingerie. “No,” I hissed. “I can’t believe you did that.”  
She just grinned and shrugged like it was no big deal. “Hey, Jake,” she said. “Did you have a good night last night?” She winked.  
Jake made a choking sound. “Um, yes,” he said. “Not that it would be any of your business. In fact, it’s no one’s business. We were going to wait until the party was over to... um, tell everyone. That way we didn’t take the spotlight away from Nikita.”  
“Ah,” she said, still grinning. “Gotcha. Wouldn’t want the little ones innocence to be tainted, would we?”  
I groaned. “Let’s go inside,” I said, practically pulling Jake by the arm into the house.   
“What did she leave in the bag?” He asked.   
I froze for a split second. “Um, nothing important,” I muttered. “Girly things.”  
“O-kay,” he said. He didn’t believe me, but he said nothing else as we went into the house. Inside, the whole living room had been completely transformed. The lights had been dimmed and pink spotlights shone over the floor. The food table had been filled and a chocolate fondue fountain had been placed in a corner. The couches had been removed from the room by floor-level tables and various cushions (all in different shades of fuchsia). Really, the whole room looked fantastic. Even though I’d seen them set up for many parties over the years, it still amazed me that they could pull so much off in so little time. Super-strength and speed were really blessings, I supposed.  
“Hey, look, there’s Rachel and Paul,” I said, indicating Jake’s sister and brother-in-law. “And Sarah. Aww, look. She’s wearing a tutu, Jake. How adorable.” Sarah, his nine-month old niece, was indeed wearing an adorable pink tutu and a little flower headband. We went over to them, and Sarah started squealing excitedly as soon as she saw Jake. Rachel handed her to him, and the two immediately started a conversation that was entirely baby-talk.  
“Hey, Nessie,” Rachel said. “I almost didn’t recognize you. You look awesome. Another growth spurt?”  
“Yeah, yesterday,” I said. “The last one.”  
Paul was staring at me, and Rachel elbowed him in the ribs. “Ow,” he hissed. “Sorry. It’s always... shocking. So Dr Fang says it’s the last one then? For real?”  
“Yep,” I said. “You’ve got to stop calling Grandpa Carlisle Dr Fang. It’s really offensive, you know. Plus, he doesn’t have fangs at all.”  
“We know,” he said. “It was an old nickname... from years ago. Guess it stuck. But Dr F—I mean, Carlisle, doesn’t mind. He thinks it’s funny, actually. Gets a real kick out of it.”  
I shrugged. “Well, whatever. So, how’s Kim? Are her and Jared going to make it today?” Jared was a Pack member, and Kim was his wife (and imprint). She was heavily pregnant, and the pregnancy had been difficult this far. She’d had an almost-miscarriage scare once already, and she was being extra careful.   
“Should be here in about twenty minutes,” said Paul cheerfully. “We’re betting its a girl. Jared claims they don’t know the gender, but they were buying girl clothes the other day so we think it’s a girl.”  
“That could just be a guess, though,” Rachel added. “We thought Sarah would be a boy, but she turned out a girl. She came home in a blue outfit.”   
“But she looked adorable anyway,” Jacob said. He was still cooing over his niece, who was all to happy to have the attention. I nearly rolled my eyes. Whenever he was around Sarah, it was like he turned into mush. His eyes would just go round and he would have the biggest smile on his face, and listening to Jake and Sarah conversing in baby-talk was hilarious. Even Paul didn’t turn so mushy and coo over her like Jake did, and Sarah was his daughter.   
“It’s cute watching you with a baby, Jake,” Rachel said, voicing my thoughts. “You’re like a big marshmallow.”  
Jake rolled his eyes. “Is that a bad thing? I’m bonding with my niece,” he said.   
“I never said it was a bad thing. I said it was adorable,” Rachel said. “Makes me wonder what you’ll be like when you have children of your own.”  
I froze, suddenly feeling sick. Jacob still didn’t know that tiny detail, and I wasn’t planning on telling him. “That would be awesome,” Paul said. “Maybe you’d finally understand what the rest of us are always complaining about. Pregnancy is no easy thing.”  
“Hey, I’m the one that had to carry a baby for nine months,” Rachel reminded him. “And I still haven’t lost my baby weight.”  
I didn’t want to talk about babies or pregnancy anymore. The whole subject was depressing to me now. “Excuse me,” I muttered. “I need to use the toilet.”  
They barely noticed me leave. Rachel and Paul were still arguing and Jake was preoccupied with Sarah.   
I rushed out of the living room and went upstairs to the bathroom, locking the door behind me. I stood in front of the sink and splashed some water on my face, but it didn’t help. I still felt nauseous. And part of me felt guilty. I knew how much Jake loved his niece, how much he enjoyed being an uncle, and I knew that having a family was something he would want, eventually. But I couldn’t give that to him. I wouldn’t ever be able to give that to him.  
There was a knock on the door. “Nessie? Are you okay?”  
It was Jake. He’d noticed me leave the room after all. “I’m fine,” I lied. “I just need a minute. Bad cramp.”  
“You’re lying to me. I can feel it,” he said. “Can I come in, please? You looked really upset. Was it something that Rachel or Paul said?”  
“I’m fine, Jake,” I said. “Really. Just go back downstairs, and I’ll be right there.”  
He sighed. I could tell he wasn’t going anywhere. “Something’s wrong, I can tell,” he said. “Are you thirsty? Do you want me to get someone to get some blood for you?”  
“No, I already had some,” I said. “Jake, I’m honestly fine. I just had a bad cramp. Please, go back downstairs.”  
I heard him sigh loudly again, and then I heard him walk away. I exhaled in relief. Thank God. I didn’t need him to worry about me. And I didn’t want him to know what really happened. I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep the secret forever, but I would tell him when it was important for him to know. And right now, it wasn’t important.   
“Nessie?” My Dad’s voice said. He sounded concerned. “Can I come in? Jake’s worried, and I know why you’re upset.”  
I unlocked the door, and let him inside. He took one look at my face and pulled me into a hug. I cried silently into his shirt. I don’t want him to know, I thought. How am I supposed to tell him, Dad? I’m a failure as an imprint.   
“You’re not a failure, Nessie,” he answered. “Just because you’re an imprint doesn’t mean your required by any laws to have a child.”  
But they’re all having babies, I thought. Rachel and Kim and Emily. They’re all able to have babies if they want. And they do want to. Why wouldn’t they? That’s why imprinting exists. We’re meant to carry the line.  
“Just because you’re meant to do something doesn’t mean it needs to happen,” he said. “Jacob wasn’t meant to imprint on you, a hybrid. Leah wasn’t meant to exist either, but she does. History might say one thing, but you should know that history isn’t always right.”  
“I know that,” I said aloud, pulling away. “But it hurts, Dad. I feel broken. I feel like I’m a joke. And how do I tell him that the family he’s always wanted will never happen? That he’ll never have what Emily and Sam and Rachel and Paul and Kim and Jared have. That it will always be just us, and that’s it?”  
“I don’t think Jacob will care one way or another,” Dad said. “Sure, he might be disappointed. But that doesn’t mean he’ll love you any less. And I think he’ll be happy with having only you, as long as it means you’re safe and happy.”  
“But I won’t always be happy,” I said. “I’ll always think about it. Every time we see the Pack, I’ll always see them with their children, and I’ll always hate myself for not being able to give him his own.”  
“I used to feel the same way,” Dad said. “When your mother and I became engaged, I remember spending long nights tormenting myself, hating that your mother would never get the life I felt she deserved. Of course, she never cared, as long as she had me. She didn’t care that being a vampire would mean giving up the ability to ever have a family of her own. Still, I regretted every day that she would never be able to have a baby. I imagined that many years down the line, she might even hate me for taking that away, like Rosalie did for a long time, and even Esme at some point. But then, she got pregnant with you. And that was something we never imagined happening. Something completely unexpected and wonderful. And at first I hated it, because I didn’t think she would survive it. But I should have known my Bella was too stubborn to give up when she had both you and I to live for. When you were born, Nessie, I was amazed. I remember thinking that I was dreaming, because how could this be? How could you, the one thing I had never thought could exist, be here? And yet you were. You were here, and you were so real. It was a miracle.”  
He smiled when he finished. “That’s great and all, Dad,” I said, “but I don’t think I’ll be so lucky.”  
“How do you know?” He asked. “Everything you can dream is possible. Sometimes the very things we think are out of our grasp are the very things we receive. What I’m saying is, don’t give up hope just yet.”   
I sighed. Somehow, Dad always managed to make all my fears disappear. He always managed to make me believe—really believe—that anything was possible. “Thanks, Dad,” I said. “I’m gonna go back downstairs now.”   
He nodded. “I’ll be right behind you in just a minute.”  
I left the bathroom and headed downstairs. Unsurprisingly, Jake was waiting for me in the hallway between the living room and the stairs. “Are you okay?” He asked immediately.   
“I’m fine,” I said honestly. “I just wasn’t feeling well. But I’m fine now.”  
He looked relieved. “I could feel that something was wrong with you,” he said. “You were upset. But I didn’t know why. I just wanted to fix it.”  
We walked back into the living room. I hadn’t realized it, but I had grabbed his hand, almost instinctively. “Wait. You could feel it? Like literally?” I asked.  
“Yeah,” he said. “It was like your emotions were literally radiating off you, and I could feel them as if they were my own. But I knew it was coming from you.”  
“You could feel my emotions, like Jasper?” I repeated, and he nodded. “That’s strange. I wonder why?”   
“I don’t know,” he said. “I’ve been getting vibes from you all day. Ever since last night, actually. But I had no idea what it really was until a few minutes ago. What is it? You look freaked out all of a sudden.”  
“Nothing,” I muttered. “Jake, my Dad said my gifts could get stronger now that I’ve reached adulthood. Maybe the fact that you’re feeling my emotions is a sign that my gift is getting more powerful.”  
“That’s weird,” he said. “Huh. This may sound strange, but I think I’m the only one who’s actually experienced it, so far.”  
“Probably because I have a stronger connection to you than anyone else here,” I said. “We’ll talk to my Dad and Grandpa Carlisle about it later. Come on, let’s go get something to eat. I’m starving.”   
He was all too happy to oblige. 

 

~*~

 

The party was a success so far. Once everyone had arrived, it was complete chaos. The room was so full people were practically sitting on top of each other—at one point I did end up in Jake’s lap. But everyone was having too much fun to really notice the stuffiness.   
The kids were having a blast, chasing each other around the room. Nikita was enjoying all the attention. The Pack devoured all the food within a half an hour (luckily my Mom and Grandma Esme had made enough to feed several small armies). Leah, Sue and Grandpa Charlie were the last to arrive. Grandpa Charlie nearly fainted when he finally recognized me. It was a good thing we’d all explained to him years ago what was really going on, because otherwise, he might’ve had a heart attack (possibly several).   
The party had been going for a couple of hours when we went to go sit down for dinner. It happened to be perfect weather, so the guys had set up tables outside so that we could have enough room for everyone. I ended up lumped with Rachel, Emily, Claire (Quil’s imprint), Kim and Leah at the end of the table, several seats away from Jake, which was a little disappointing.   
“So, Nessie,” Kim said. She had her plate piled almost as full as the guys. “When were you planning on telling us about you and Jake, hmm?”  
I choked on my mouthful of mashed potatoes. I took a drink of water, trying to think of what I could say. She was watching me eagerly, and the others were leaning towards me so they could hear, too. “How did you know?” I asked finally.  
Kim laughed. “Oh, come on. It’s not a secret,” she said. “You’ve been practically glowing this whole time. And you and Jake have been really cuddly all day. I haven’t seen you like that in a long time.”  
“I didn’t realize we were being so obvious,” I said, blushing. “But yeah. We’re together. It happened last night. We were going to tell everyone after the party. We didn’t want to take the spotlight from Nikita.”  
“Well it’s about time,” Rachel said, grinning. “I was wondering earlier. I could tell something was different, but I didn’t know what. I’m glad you finally made the moves.”  
“Who made the moves first?” Kim asked eagerly. Rachel made a face, clearly not wanting to know details. “Sorry, Rach. It’s mandatory. You gotta give details.”  
“I have gone momentarily deaf, so detail away,” Rachel said. “But please, try not to give too many details. He is my brother, you know.”  
So I told them all about how last night had gone, trying to be careful about the specifics. I didn’t want to give too much away. It had been private, after all. But I understood their eagerness. They’d all been waiting a long time for Jake and I to finally become a couple. I thought they thought it would make me truly one of the group, if we were all couples (except Claire and Quil, but she was still too young).   
“Aww,” Emily said when I had finished. “I’m so happy for you guys. You know, I was thinking we should go on a trip. You know, all of us girls. Of course, it would have to be after Kim has the baby and when Leah can come, but I think it would be great if we could all go on a trip and do some bonding.”  
“That’s a great idea,” Rachel said. “And I could really use a vacation. Sarah’s adorable and I love her more than anything, but being a mom is exhausting. I can’t remember the last time I got to have a few minutes to myself without Paul or Sarah needing me.”  
“Motherhood is difficult,” Emily, who had two kids (a boy, Kieran, who was six, and a girl, Natalie, who was three), agreed. “I wouldn’t trade it for the world, but it’s not easy.”  
“Well, I might be alone here, but I can’t wait for these nine months of Hell to be over,” Kim said, rubbing her huge belly. “I can’t see my feet. I have to pee a thousand times a day. My cravings are ridiculous. And my back has never hurt so much.”  
“What have you been craving?” Leah asked, speaking up for the first time.   
Kim made a face, as if the thought disgusted her. “The other day I had pickles in ice cream,” she said. “And I made a sandwich with peanut butter and maple syrup, and jam. And I’ve had the most insane cravings for jalapeños with sour cream. Plus I make Jared buy onion rings and a triple chocolate sundae from that restaurant in La Push at least twice a week.”   
“Pickles in ice cream?” Claire said, making a face. “That’s gross. Why would your baby want that?”  
We all laughed. “I don’t know,” Kim said. “Baby has weird taste, that’s for sure.”  
I wanted to change the subject, but I didn’t want to be rude. Plus, they all enjoyed talking about their babies and pregnancies and etc. However, looking at Leah’s face (she had pursed her lips and looked almost upset), I could see I wasn’t the only one who was uncomfortable with the topic.  
“So, Emily,” Leah said suddenly. “You mentioned a vacation. Where would we go? And were you thinking of a certain timeframe? Just because I would have to take time off work and I need to give them a few weeks in advance before I take holidays. Plus I’m sure everyone would need to start saving up for a vacation.”  
“I was thinking we could go to Miami,” Emily said. “It would just be for maybe four or five days. And since Kim’s not going to be able to travel as she’ll be busy with the baby, I thought we could go in January, say the week after New Years?”  
Leah suddenly looked a little pale. “Um, January is not going to be a good time for me,” she said. “It’s the New Year. Business is pretty busy...”  
“Well, we can always figure it out,” Emily said. “We could go a little later or earlier. Nothing’s decided yet. Miami okay with you, Nessie? With the sun and everything?”  
“Oh, yeah,” I said. “I don’t sparkle, so it’ll be fine. I just kind of shimmer a bit in direct sunlight, but we can always say that it’s my sunscreen or something.”   
“Good,” Emily said. “Leah? Are you okay?”  
Leah had closed her eyes, and she was looking a little ill. “Uh-huh,” she said. “Just... ate... too much. Excuse me, I need to use the bathroom.”  
She got up, and ran into the house before anyone could stop her, leaving the rest of us staring after her. Sue came over to where we were sitting, looking worried. “What happened to Leah? Is she alright?”  
“I think so,” Emily answered. “She started getting pale and she looked ill. She said she ate too much, but...”  
“She hasn’t been feeling well all day,” Sue said. Her forehead was creased with worry. “I’ll go check on her. Renesmee, would you come with me?”  
“Me?” I squeaked, surprised that Sue had spoken to me, let alone asked for me to come. Sue normally never acknowledged me at all. “Uh, sure.”  
I got up from the table, and followed Sue to the house. “You know her well,” Sue said as we went inside. I could hear Leah throwing up in the hallway bathroom, and I winced. “She won’t tell me what’s going on. But maybe she’ll tell you?”  
I nodded, speechless, and went down the hall to the bathroom. I knocked on the door. “Leah? It’s Nessie,” I said. “Are you okay?”  
There was an disgusting hurling noise. Something was very wrong, if Leah was sick. Shapeshifters very rarely got sick. “Go away,” Leah moaned. She sounded awful. I opened the door, and closed it behind me. Leah was bent over the toilet, looking faintly green. The smell nearly made me hurl, too, but I didn’t.   
“You look awful, Leah,” I said. She glared at me. “Sorry. It’s true. Are you okay? You were fine less than five minutes ago.”  
“I told you,” she said, “I ate t-too... much.” She started heaving again, and I had to look away, fearing that I would lose my dinner, too.  
“I don’t think so,” I said. “Look, your Mom is waiting out there. She’s worried about you. She said you haven’t been feeling well all day, but you won’t tell her anything. Leah, if you’re sick, please just say so. It’s not normal for a Shapeshifter to get sick, but we need to know so we can help you.”  
“Enough,” Leah said. She still looked a little green, and there were beads of sweat dripping down her face. Her hands were shaking, too. I had never seen her look so awful. It was kind of scary. “Can you get me a damp washcloth, please?”  
I grabbed a washcloth from the cupboard and ran it under the tap until it was damp, and then handed it to her. She pressed it against her face. “Do you want me to get some water?” I asked. “Or some anti-nausea, or something?”  
She shook her head. “No,” she said. “I should be o-okay now.” She began to stand. She wobbled a little and grabbed onto the corner of the sink.  
“Seriously, you look really sick,” I said. “You can go lay down if you want. There’s a guest room upstairs open.”  
“No, thank you,” she said. “I don’t need to lay down. Did my Mom hear me throwing up?”  
I nodded. “She was really worried. There’s obviously something wrong but you won’t tell her, and she’s worried about you,” I said.   
Leah sighed. “Can you go tell her that I need to relax for a minute, and then I’ll be right back out? Tell her I’m fine. The plane didn’t agree with my stomach.”  
I didn’t like the idea of lying to Sue, but I told her I would, and left the bathroom. Sue was waiting in the living room, pacing anxiously.  
“Is she alright?” She demanded immediately. “Does she need me?”  
I hesitated. “She seems to be okay now,” I said. “She just needs to relax for a minute, but she’s fine. She wants you to go back to dinner and she’ll be right back out. I guess the plane didn’t agree with her this time. It’s common for people to throw up from jet-lag.”  
She narrowed her eyes, but then sighed. “Well, alright,” she said. “Let her relax. Are you staying with her?”  
“Yes,” I said. I felt a little bad for Sue—Leah didn’t want her mother there, but she would let me stay.   
“Good,” Sue said. “Just come get me if you need me.”  
She hesitated a moment, and then turned and left the house. I went back into the bathroom. Leah was still sitting on the toilet, pressing the cloth against her forehead. She was leaning against the wall, and she looked exhausted. “Okay. She’s gone,” I said. “Do you seriously not want anything? You look terrible.”   
“Thanks,” she said, rolling her eyes. “But no. I’m fine. It’s... not the first time that this has happened.”  
“Well, I would think you’ve been sick before,” I said. She looked at me, and I realized that wasn’t what she meant. “But you didn’t mean that, did you? This has been happening a lot lately, hasn’t it?”  
“Yes,” she said. She sighed. “Look, I’ll tell you what’s going on. But you have to swear that you will not tell anyone. Not Jacob, not anyone. What I’m going to tell you must be between us until I choose to tell them.”  
The seriousness in her tone worried me. She was starting to freak me out, actually. “I swear I won’t tell anyone,” I said. “You know you can trust me, Leah.”  
She nodded. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. It almost seemed like she was mentally trying to prepare herself for—whatever it was she was going to tell me. Whatever it was, she was obviously terrified of it. Which made me even more worried, because Leah was hardly ever scared of anything.   
She opened her eyes, and met mine. “Nessie,” she said slowly. Her voice shook a little. “I’m pregnant.”


	5. 5. Nightmare

5\. Nightmare 

 

FOR A LONG MOMENT, I JUST STARED AT HER, HOLDING MY BREATH. PART OF ME was waiting for her to tell me she was joking, for this all to be a huge joke. But the other part of me wanted it to be real. Because if Leah was pregnant, then she was carrying Nahuel’s child, and Nahuel was a hybrid, just like me. Which meant that there was a possibility I could conceive a child, too.   
“Say something,” Leah pleaded.   
I exhaled. “What am I supposed to say? You’re... You’re pregnant,” I said. “That shouldn’t be possible.”  
“I know,” Leah said. “But I’ve taken eight different tests to make sure, and this is real. This is really happening. I’m pregnant, Nessie. And I’m terrified.”  
“Does Nahuel know?” I asked.   
She shook her head. “I didn’t want to tell him before he left, because he would worry,” she said. “I was planning to tell him tonight, when he comes back. But... What will he say? How is he going to react? What if he doesn’t even want a kid, Nessie?”  
“Haven’t you talked about it? Babies, I mean?” I asked. “I know you never thought it was possible, but didn’t you even consider the possibility?”  
“I did, but I don’t know if he did,” she said. “We didn’t really bring it up. Like you said, we never thought this could be possible. I have no idea how he’s going to react, Ness. And that scares me even more than the knowledge that I am carrying a baby.”  
“That’s pretty amazing, actually,” I said. “And now I get why you said January wouldn’t be a good time for you to travel. You’ll be very pregnant by then.”  
“Exactly,” she said. “I’ll probably look like a small whale. Or an elephant. It scares me, Nessie. I’ve never been so scared about anything in my life. How can I be a mother? I am the most un-motherly person ever. It’s like a huge joke, except it’s real.”  
I wanted to slap her, to yell at her that she was being ungrateful and didn’t she know how lucky she was, how blessed, but I didn’t. “I get that you’re scared,” I said. “But you’ll be okay. You have Nahuel, and all of us. You’re not alone.”  
She nodded. “I’m sorry,” she said. “Here I am sitting here complaining that I am pregnant. You probably think I’m being ungrateful.”  
“Why would I think that?” I hoped she hadn’t guessed. How could she have? No, I told myself. I was being paranoid.  
“Oh, don’t bother pretending,” she said. “Nahuel told me a while ago that female hybrids are unable to conceive. I know he told this to your Dad, and I have a feeling your Dad told you now that you’ve reached maturity. Plus, from the look on your face when the others were talking about babies and stuff, I could tell you knew.”   
“Oh, that,” I said, and my voice was slightly more uneven than I wanted. “It’s not a big deal. I’m not bothered by it.”  
She rolled her eyes at me. “Nessie, you’re a terrible liar,” she said. “But do you want to know something? Nahuel also said that this, me having a child, would be impossible too. But yet I’m pregnant. So it’s just proves that theories don’t always have to be right. And if you think about it, our situations are the same in reverse. I’m a shapeshifter, and Nahuel’s a hybrid who I imprinted on. You’re a hybrid, and Jacob’s a shapeshifter who imprinted on you. It’s identical situations. So if I can get pregnant when we didn’t think that it was possible, then there’s no reason for you to think that you can’t, too.”  
I smiled a little. I wanted to hope, to let myself believe. Maybe it was possible, but maybe it wasn’t. “We’ll just have to see, I guess,” I said. “Are you ready to go back now? Dinner should be over.”  
“Yeah,” she said. She started to stand, but she wobbled a little. I caught her before she toppled over. “Sorry. I guess I stood up too fast.”  
“Jeez,” I said. “I don’t know how much longer you’re gonna be able to keep this secret, if you’re suddenly falling over all the time.”  
We left the bathroom. “I’ll figure out a way,” she said. “I just need to tell Nahuel first.”   
As we walked into the backyard, we changed the subject and I put up a block in my mind just in case my Dad was snooping again. They were finishing up dessert and there was still some pie and cake left (not much), so we started heading back to our seats.   
“Are you okay, dear?” Sue asked, stopping us just before we sat down. “Are you sure you should be moving around so soon? Maybe you should go lie down.”  
“I’m fine, Mom,” Leah said. “I guess the plane really didn’t agree with me this time, and I think I probably ate too much too quickly. But I’m fine, really.”  
Sue didn’t look convinced, but she let us go sit down. Leah took a small piece of cake and nibbled at it, and I had a slice of pie with whipped cream. I was definitely ready for this party to be over already. 

 

~*~

 

After Nikita finished opening her presents, her guests hung around the house for a while, until it started to get dark. Emily and Sam were the first to leave, after Natalie started falling down every few minutes and Kieran started getting cranky. Kim and Jared left shortly after, followed by Rachel and Paul (they’d run out of bottles and diapers for Sarah, who was starting to fuss after her nap). Apparently, the entire Pack seemed to know that Jake and I were together, because they all congratulated us as they left one by one, which was a relief because it saved us the embarrassment of having to say so aloud.   
Grandpa Charlie and Sue were the last to leave. As they were leaving, Grandpa Charlie pulled me aside.  
“Nessie,” he said. “You look so grown up, kiddo. I didn’t recognize you at first.”  
I blushed. “Thanks, Grandpa,” I said. I noticed that his forehead was creased, like it did when he was worried about something. “What’s wrong, Grandpa?”  
“It’s just... Everyone kept congratulating you and Jacob. And I know about the whole imprinting business. It’s just no one told me anything,” he said. “No one warned me you had a growth spurt either. I’m not as young as I was, you know. I can’t take too many surprises anymore.”  
I felt guilty. I hadn’t realized no one had warned him. It was probably a shock when he’d come in and seen someone who looked like a stranger but was actually his granddaughter. “Sorry, Grandpa. I didn’t realize that no one had told you,” I said. “But you don’t have to worry about the growth spurts anymore. No more surprise changes in my appearance. I’ll look like this all the time now.”  
“You mean you won’t age anymore?” He frowned. He still had difficulty understanding me, but he did his best.   
“No,” I said. “This was my last growth spurt. I am sorry no one told you, though. Someone should have said something. You have a right to know what happens with me.”  
“I’m glad you think so at least,” he said. He sighed “So, about you and Jake. Can I ask you a favour? Just a small one? But it might help me sleep better at night.”  
“Sure, Grandpa. What is it?” I said, wondering what he could possibly ask that would help him sleep easier.  
“Look, I know you’re physically and mentally a grown woman now,” he said, “but to me I still think you’re nine years old. And to me, Jacob is a grown man. I watched him grow up. And Billy was my best friend. I understand the imprinting, even though it doesn’t make complete sense to me all the time. But it’s still a little strange for me to wrap my head around the fact that you’re nine years old and you’re with Jacob. So, for the sake of keeping me a sane a little longer, could you two try not to make it obvious that you’re, you know, a couple? It’s not that I’m not happy for you, I am. You and Jake both deserve to be happy. It’s just a little weird for me, because as far as I’m concerned, you’re a little girl. Not mentally or physically, but in my mind you’re still too young.”  
Normally, it annoyed me when people said that I was still a child, but in Grandpa Charlie’s case, I could see where he was coming from. As a human, it would be really hard for him to grasp the age difference between me and Jacob, even though there wasn’t actually one as far as the rest of us were concerned. “That makes sense,” I said. “And I promise we’ll try to make it... not so obvious. No spontaneous displays of affection. Is it still okay if we hold hands?”  
“That’s fine,” he said. “And I’m sorry that I had to ask. I don’t like telling you what to do. And I hate feeling like you cater to my every wish because I’m human.”  
“Oh, Grandpa. You don’t need to feel like that,” I said. “We respect you and love you. Don’t feel afraid to ask something. You can ask whatever you want. And you’re my grandpa—you have just as much right to tell me what to do as my parents.”  
He smiled. “I’m glad you appreciate me, Ness,” he said. “And next time, I would appreciate if someone tells me what’s going on with you. I don’t want anymore secrets.”  
“No more secrets,” I promised.   
He hugged me, and I tried not to inhale as I returned it. “Just between us, I think Billy would’ve been happy for you,” he said as he pulled away. “I know he liked you. He might not have said it or let you know so, but he did.”   
I smiled. “Thanks, Grandpa,” I said.   
He left with Sue then. Leah had stayed, and she was currently lying on the couch, talking to Daniel. Daniel had always been fascinated by Leah, because she was the only female shapeshifter, and he always spent as much time as he could talking to her. He also found it hilarious that she worked in an animal clinic, and enjoyed listening to her stories about how cats freaked out whenever she was around (sensing that she was a shapeshifter) and tried to attack her.   
Jake walked over to me. “What was all that about?” He asked.   
“Grandpa was just annoyed that no one told him I had a growth spurt, or about you and I. Which I totally understand,” I said. “He also asked if we could maybe not make it obvious that we’re together when he’s around. Says he has a hard time grasping it.”  
“Okay,” Jake said. “Hey, aren’t we going to talk to Carlisle about the way I’ve been sensing your emotions all day?”  
“Oh yeah,” I said. I had forgotten about that. “Do we have to do that now? I was thinking we could go back to the cottage...” I trailed off.  
He grinned. “I think that’s a much better idea,” he said.   
I told Leah we were going to the cottage, and then we left. “Wanna race? I’ll try not to use my speed,” I said.   
“You’re on,” he said.   
We started running. Our laughter echoed through the trees. It took us less than five minutes to reach the cottage, and I was the first to the door. “I won!” I cheered. He was covered in sweat, and bent over to catch his breath.  
“I let you win,” he said when he had caught his breath.   
I rolled my eyes. “Sure you—Oomph.” I was cut off as he locked me in a kiss, wrapping an arm around my waist. I sighed happily. I’d been longing to kiss him all day. It was like jumping into a cold pool on a hot summer day, the feeling of pure bliss was instantaneous.   
He reached around me to open the door, not breaking the kiss, and lifted me into his arms as he carried me into the house, kicking the door closed behind him. He set me down, finally breaking the kiss.  
“I missed you,” I said, wrapping my arms around his neck. “I feel like we hardly got to see each other all day.”   
“Hmm,” he said. “I missed you, too.”  
I kissed him again, running my fingers through his hair. That went on for a minute or two, and we only paused when we had to breathe. Somehow, between stopping to kiss in the hallway, we made our way to my bedroom, where we landed backwards on the bed.   
I wasn’t sure how long I lay there like that, wrapped in his arms, kissing him like I would cease breathing if I didn’t. It was like we were in our own little bubble, and time didn’t matter. Nothing mattered, just us.   
“Can you stay?” I asked when we had stopped kissing for a minute.   
He sighed. “I shouldn’t,” he said. “I really, really want to, but...”  
“I want you to stay,” I said. I was running my hands over his chest, memorizing the feel of his skin beneath my fingers.   
“I know,” he said. “But I should go home.”  
I sighed. I hated that he had to leave. “I’ll miss you,” I said. “You’ll be back in the morning, right?”  
“Of course,” he said, as if it was a silly question. “We can go out for lunch tomorrow. To that diner you like.”  
I sat up a little so I could look at him directly. “Like a lunch date?” I asked.   
“I guess,” he said. “Is that okay with you?”  
I grinned. “I’d love to go out for lunch with you,” I said.   
“Good,” he said. He looked at the clock next to my bed, and sighed again. “I should probably leave before your parents kick me out.”  
“I wish you didn’t have to,” I said. “They never had a problem with you staying the night before.”  
“That’s because we weren’t together before,” he said. He pressed a kiss to my forehead. “Now that we are, everything’s different.”  
“I miss you already,” I said. I knew I sounded like one of those girls in those bad romantic movies, but I didn’t care, because for the moment, it was the truth.   
“Me, too,” he said. He slid out from underneath me and crawled off the bed, grabbing his shirt from where it had fallen on the floor. I got up as he pulled it on, and grabbed his wrist, pulling him back to me.  
He had seen what I wanted, because he cupped my face in his hands and kissed me. This kiss seemed deeper, and it seemed to last longer. I was disappointed when he pulled away. “Goodnight,” he whispered.   
“Goodnight,” I whispered.   
He left me then, and I crawled back into bed. A few minutes later, I heard the engine of his car as he pulled out of the driveway, and I sighed and turned off the light. Even as I fell asleep, I could still feel his kiss on my lips. 

 

~*~

 

The dream started out pleasant. In the beginning, I was running in the woods with Jacob, and we were happy, perfectly content with the world. But then the dream changed, and suddenly I was standing in a room. The air in the room was stifling, and even though it was large, it felt claustrophobic. There were people all around me, faces that I recognized. And I could tell something wasn’t right.   
I finally found my mother, standing at the end of the long room in a black dress. She was crying, which was weird. Vampires didn’t cry. But she was, tears streaming down her face. “Mom?” I asked, starting to panic. “What’s going on?”   
But she didn’t answer me. She didn’t even look at me. It was as if I wasn’t there. And then, Sue came up to her, and she pulled her into a hug. And that’s when I realized that my Mom was standing in front of a coffin.. This was a funeral.   
“They wanted me to tell you that it’s done,” Sue was saying. “I’m so sorry, Bella. It wasn’t our choice.”  
“I know,” my Mom said. “But what happened was unforgivable. The Volturi couldn’t allow her to live once she’d killed a human. Even if he wasn’t all human...”   
I knew what had happened immediately, who “she” was. And I looked down at the coffin, stumbling backwards when I realized who it was. My Jacob. Dead. Because of me.   
I screamed. And screamed and screamed.   
6


	6. The Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nessie and Jacob go on a date, and cute/cheesy fluff ensues.

6\. The Date 

 

I BOLTED UPRIGHT IN BED, GASPING FOR BREATH. MY HEART WAS RACING, pounding in my chest so hard it was almost painful. I was covered in a cold sweat, the image of Jacob’s lifeless body playing over and over again in my mind.   
When I had managed to calm myself down, I turned on my lamp and reached for my cell phone. It was late, long past midnight, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep unless I heard his voice. I knew it was stupid. It was just a nightmare, brought on by my recent fears. But I needed to hear his voice.   
So I called him. His phone rang for a full minute, and his voicemail picked up. I sighed—of course he was asleep. “Hey. You’ve reached Jacob. I’m either not available or I’m avoiding you. Leave a message and I’ll try to get back to you soon.” There was a loud beep, ending the message.   
“Jake, it’s me,” I said. “You’re probably asleep. You don’t have to call me back... I just wanted to hear your voice. Um... Anyway. Goodnight, I guess.”  
I hung up, clutching the phone to my chest. There was no way I was going to be able to sleep now. Hearing his voicemail wasn’t enough. I couldn’t get the image out of my head. I had to get out of here.  
I crawled out of bed, pulling on my shoes and a jacket, and opened my window. I was sure Mom and Dad weren’t here—after that nightmare, there was no way Dad wouldn’t have come running in to check on me. When I was asleep, my mental walls were down, making my mind wide open to him. And a nightmare like that would’ve been like I was screaming at him. He always came running when I had nightmares. So they were probably out. Hunting, or with Grandma and Grandpa. Or somewhere else, doing things I didn’t want to know about.   
I slipped out my window easily enough, and started heading in the direction of Grandma and Grandpa’s. I didn’t want to go there, though. I needed to see Jake. But the only way I could do that was by driving to La Push, and I was pretty sure that would just get me in trouble. No. I’d have to wait until morning. Until then, however, I needed to clear my head if I wanted to sleep again.  
I kept walking, my feet automatically leading me to Grandma and Grandpa’s. I stopped outside the house. They would sense me outside, and probably come find me, see what I was doing out of bed.   
Sure enough, a few minutes passed before Uncle Jasper came outside. He walked right over to me, and opened his arms without hesitation. I sank into them, and I could feel a calmness wash over me. He simply held me, his presence chasing the fear of the nightmare away.  
Sometimes, I was most grateful for Uncle Jasper’s gift. I wasn’t sure what I would have done if he hadn’t been there to keep me under control this past week.   
He used his gift to lull me back to sleep, and I was unconscious before he even carried me into the house.

~*~

 

I woke the next morning to the sound of voices and the smell of human blood. I had taken my blood earlier yesterday, and the smell of blood made me hungry. My stomach growled, but I repeated to myself over and over again that it was my cousins I was smelling, and I was not going to hurt them.  
Mentally, I called for my Dad, letting him know I needed blood before I could come downstairs. He was upstairs in a few moments, a cup of blood and a small bowl of fruit in his hand.  
“Morning, sweetheart,” he said, setting the bowl on the nightstand and handing me the cup. “Are you okay? Jasper told us that you had a nightmare?”  
I nodded, taking a sip from the cup. I reached for his hand so I could show him. “It was awful,” I whispered, sending the dream to him.   
“Oh, Nessie,” he said. “It was just a dream. A terrible one, but it was a dream. That’s all. Of course that would never happen. We would never let anything like that happen.”  
“I know. But it still scared me,” I said. “Is Jacob here yet?”  
He shook his head. “No. He’s close, though. He’ll be here soon,” he said. “I know you’re going to breakfast, but you might want to eat that fruit. It’ll help.”  
I finished my blood, and then grabbed the bowl of fruit. It was just strawberries and some grapes, but I was still starving, and I scarfed it down. “I should get dressed,” I said. “Um. Don’t say anything to him, okay? About the nightmare.”  
“Of course,” Dad said. “I’m very thankful Jasper was there last night, when you came here. We were... out, your mother and I. Otherwise, I’d have been there right away.”  
“I was so scared,” I said. “I know it wasn’t real, but seeing it...” I shuddered.   
He nodded. “I understand. I had the very same fear, when your mother was still human. Vampires don’t dream, but my own imagination was just as terrifying sometimes,” he said. “You and I are quite similar that way. We are both so afraid of losing control, of hurting someone we love. But your mother had faith in me, and we all have faith in you, and so does Jacob.”  
“Sometimes, I’m afraid that I’ll scare him so much that the imprint won’t be enough, and he’ll run,” I confessed. “I know it’s silly.”  
“Not silly,” he said, smiling a little. “I heard somewhere that if you’re afraid of losing your happy ending, it means you’ve found it.”  
I smiled. He gave me a hug, and I sighed. “I’m sorry for being such a mess lately,” I said, when I pulled back.  
“You don’t have to apologize,” he said. “Having a break down once in a while is what makes you human. Before I met your mother, I used to wish more than anything that I could just cry for a bit. Get it out of my system, you know. Jasper was a great help. He still helps when we become overwhelmed with emotions. But you don’t have to apologize. Your body is going through something, and it’s only natural for you to react. I think we would be more worried if you were keeping it all bottled up.”  
“I guess,” I said. I sighed, looking at the clock on the nightstand. I would have to get up and change soon, if I didn’t want to keep Jacob waiting when he got here. “Are you really okay with this? Me going on a date, I mean?”  
He didn’t answer for a moment, frowning. “I trust him,” he said. “But more importantly, I trust you. I know you wouldn’t have taken this next step unless you were totally sure of what you wanted. Jacob makes you happy, and that’s all a father ever wants for his daughter. Just promise me that you won’t rush things, okay? You have lots of time, Nessie. Don’t rush into something if you’re not completely sure.”  
“Okay,” I said. He got up, sensing that I needed to get dressed. “Hey. Dad?”   
He turned, just outside the doorway. “Yes?”   
Thanks for making me feel better, I thought. He smiled. “Of course, love,” he said.   
He left the room, closing the door behind him. I got out of the bed, and went to the closet. There weren’t any clothes in there—certainly none that were suitable for a first date. There were jeans that were probably too big, and shirts I would never wear. The closet in the spare bedroom was used to hold clothes the wolves could change into when they came over in their wolf form. Aunt Alice updated the wardrobe in here every other month.   
The door to the spare bedroom opened, and Aunt Alice came into the room carrying an armful of clothing. She was grinning wickedly. “Oh, Thank God,” I said. “How did you know?”  
She dumped the clothes on the bed. I noticed there was also a makeup bag in her hand, and shoes. “Well, when Jazz brought you here last night, I knew there were no decent clothes in here so I took the liberty of going through your closet for you,” she said. “And I already know what you’re going to look like.”  
“Really? But I don’t have a clue what I want to wear,” I said.   
She raised her eyebrow. “You don’t, but Jacob certainly does,” she said, and there was a suggestive tone to her voice. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you in certain things. So, I put together an outfit that’s going to make his jaw drop, but that’s also perfectly suitable for breakfast at a small-town diner.”  
“Well. Better get started, then,” I said. I was kind of excited. I loved when Aunt Alice dressed me, especially when I had no idea what she was going to put on me. Unlike my mother, I actually enjoyed when Aunt Alice dressed me up.   
She ordered me to sit on the bed while she did my hair and makeup, and I complied. She wouldn’t show me what colours she was using, but I trusted her. She had great taste when it came to makeup and clothes. I was a little hesitant when I saw her take the red lipstick out of the bag.   
“What?” She asked, noticing that I was fidgety.   
I sighed. “I don’t wear lipstick,” I said. “Especially not red lipstick. Are you sure that’s a good idea?”  
“Trust me. You’ll love it,” she said. When I still hesitated, she groaned. “Renesmee, listen to me. You’re pretty much an adult, and you look like a freaking goddess. It’s high time that you embrace your beauty, instead of hiding from it. I’m not going to make you look like a hooker. God knows Edward would murder me. All this is going to do is enhance the natural beauty you already have. Okay? And your new lips are going to look fabulous with this colour.”  
“Fine,” I said. “But if I don’t like it when I see it, you’re going to change it.”  
She rolled her eyes, but said nothing. I let her apply the lipstick, and then she moved onto my hair. She used the curling wand to enhance the natural look of my curls, making them bigger and fuller. Then she clipped them back, holding them with bobby pins.   
When we were finally done with hair and makeup, she told me to change out of my clothes and helped me into a black dress and a pair of navy blue heels with little bows on the back. She also gave me a simple silver necklace with a heart pendant. I had a black clutch that held my phone and some cash, and I wore a black blazer over my dress.  
“Okay,” Aunt Alice said finally, standing back to look at me. “I think you’re done. Go take a look.”  
I practically ran to the floor-length mirror in the corner of the room, and gasped. The black dress had straps, and though it was plain, it was just sexy enough that it wasn’t boring. The heels looked perfect with it, too. My hair hung in heavy curls around my face, and she had added just a bit of bronze eyeshadow to make my eyelids shimmer when I blinked, along with just a bit of mascara and eyeliner. My lips were done in a dark, shimmering red that seemed to compliment my skin and hair colours, rather than contrasting with them. I looked much older than I had yesterday, but it didn’t terrify me anymore.  
“Thank you,” I said. I went over and gave her a hug. “It’s perfect.”  
She smiled. “You’re welcome, of course,” she said. “I thought that enhancing your features, not entirely altering them, would make you more comfortable with your new looks.”  
“It does,” I said. “I don’t hate it anymore, anyway. I think yesterday I was just scared, because it was such a huge difference to me.”  
“You haven’t changed that much, you know. You only look a little older, that’s all,” she said.  
I smiled. “Thanks, Aunt Alice,” I said. I gave her another hug.  
Downstairs, I heard the door open. “Perfect timing,” she said, letting go of me. “As always. Go on, Ness. Have fun. I want to hear all the details later, okay?”  
I laughed, and then left the room. I took a deep breath, and then started down the stairs. When I reached the bottom, I saw Jacob standing in the front hallway. He was wearing a crisp white shirt with rolled-up sleeves, and a pair of navy blue jeans that looked so dark that I thought they were dress pants at first. I could tell right away that he was nervous, because I could smell him sweating, and it made my heart skip a beat.  
When he saw me, his reaction was everything I’d wanted. His eyes went so wide that I thought they would burst from his head, and his jaw— as Aunt Alice had predicted—, actually did drop. He stared at me like he’d never seen me before, pure awe on his face.   
I smiled. My parents were standing in the hallway, too, and my Mom nudged him back to reality. Jacob shook his head a little. “Um,” he started. He cleared his throat. “Good morning.”  
“Good morning,” I said. “Ready for breakfast?”  
He nodded, still staring at me. “Yeah,” he said. “Um.”  
I could’ve laughed, at how totally nervous he was. I could practically hear his heart racing. I was also almost certain that Mom was about to burst into laughter right there. “Let’s go, then,” I said. “See you later, Mom and Dad.”  
Mom managed a “have fun!” that sounded far too forced, and I grabbed Jake’s hand and practically dragged him out of the house.  
Once we were outside, he exhaled. He followed me to the passenger side of the car. “You look stunning, Ness,” he said.  
I grinned. “Stunning, hmm? Well, you don’t look so bad yourself. I kind of like this look on you, actually,” I said. I looped my arms around his neck. Thanks to the heels, I didn’t have to stand on tiptoe to kiss him. The nightmare last night hadn’t completely faded from my mind, and I needed to prove to myself that he was actually real.   
He responded to the kiss, but I could tell he was holding back, probably because half my family was bound to be “listening”. “What do you say we go somewhere a bit more private?” I whispered, pulling away.   
“Hmm. Sounds good to me,” he said.   
I let go of him, reluctantly, and got into the car. Half a moment later, he got into the drivers seat and started the car. He reached for my hand, and clasped it in his. I smiled, settling into the seat. It was nice, to feel this happy after the past few days of being miserable. The warmth that had spread through me was the kind that only pure happiness could bring on, and I couldn’t stop smiling.

 

~*~ 

 

We arrived at the diner in town, and Jacob opened the door for me. He locked the car and we went inside the restaurant.  
It was practically empty, for a mid-morning on Sunday when most of the town was either sleeping in or at church, if they did that sort of thing. A smiling waitress led us to a private booth in the back of the diner, and handed us two menus. I ordered a Mimosa, just to see if I could, and the waitress didn’t even ask to see an ID to prove I was legal.   
Jacob was shaking his head at me when she left. He had ordered a Coke. “Really, Nessie? Alcohol for breakfast?”  
“Alcohol with breakfast,” I corrected. “And so what? I wanted to see if she would make me show ID. I guess not.”  
He rolled his eyes. “I guess I’m not surprised. I’d probably do the same thing,” he said. “So I got a voicemail on my phone around 4am this morning.”  
I froze and looked away. “Oh,” I said.   
“Ness,” he said. “What happened last night? You sounded like someone had died.”  
My chest was starting to ache, and it suddenly became hard to breathe. “I had a nightmare,” I whispered.   
He made a sort of strangled sound. I knew it had worked—I’d been able to send him my dream without even touching him. “It was just a dream,” he said, after a moment. He looked a little pale. “It was a nightmare. That’s all it was, Ness. It would never, ever happen.”  
“I know that,” I said. “But seeing it... thinking it was real, for a moment... Jake, I’ve never been more terrified in my life.”  
Thank God we were sitting in a booth, because he was able to move closer to me, and he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close. “It won’t happen,” he said. “I’ll be around for as long as you are, Nessie.”  
“I hope so,” I murmured. I leaned my head on his shoulder. “I wouldn’t be able to stand it if you left me.”  
He kissed my hair. “I won’t,” he said. “I won’t ever leave you. I promise.”  
We were still sitting like that when the waitress returned with our drinks. She looked a bit surprised, but I didn’t care. “Are you ready to order? You can order from the breakfast menu or the lunch menu as it’s eleven,” she said.   
“Um... I’ll have the chicken club wrap,” I said, reading off the menu. “No lettuce, though. And onion rings. And can I get a Diet Coke as well?”   
“Of course,” she said, writing down my order. “And you?”  
Jacob was still reading the menu. “I’ll have a side order of chicken wings with barbecue sauce. And the All American Burger with extra cheese and bacon, with a side of fries.”   
She wrote his order down. “I’ll be right back with the extra drink. You two are a lovely couple, by the way,” she said, smiling. Then she left.  
“Chicken wings and a burger?” I asked him, when she was gone.  
He shrugged. “What? It’s practically lunch time,” he said. “And you know how my stomach is. I can probably eat four of those burgers and still eat the wings and the fries too, without being full.”   
“You amaze me,” I said. “I doubt I’ll even finish my whole meal. I had a bit of blood this morning. To keep it controlled. But I’m never as hungry if I have blood before I eat.”  
“Just as long as you’re still eating food, I don’t care,” he said. “I might be a little sad if you stopped eating food altogether, though. It would be pretty awkward if we were on a date and I was the only one eating.”  
I laughed. “I don’t think I can cut human food out completely,” I said. “Nahuel still has to eat proper food, even when he was living off mostly blood.”  
“Nahuel came back last night, by the way. Leah texted me this morning,” he said. “She said to tell you that they will be over later this afternoon.”  
“Did she say anything else?” I asked. I wondered if Leah had told Nahuel about being pregnant yet.   
“She didn’t say anything about that, no,” he said.   
I stared at him. “Jacob... Did you just hear what I was thinking about Leah?”   
He opened his mouth to answer, but just then the waitress had returned with my Diet Coke and his chicken wings. “What do you mean? You said that out loud,” he said, once the waitress was gone.   
“No, Jake,” I said, slowly. “I was thinking that. You weren’t even supposed to know about Leah yet.”   
“You must have sent it to me, then. By accident,” he said. He picked up one of his wings, and took a bite.  
“I don’t think so. I always know if I send a thought to someone,” I said. “Hang on. Let me see if I can do it again.”  
Can you hear me? I thought. This was stupid, but I needed to know. “Yes, I can hear you. And yes, this is really stupid,” he said. “It sounds like you’re actually talking to me. That’s so weird. Okay. Try doing that with your hand.”  
I touched his hand, and focused on sending him the same question. Jacob actually flinched and dropped his chicken wing, wincing like he was in pain. “Sorry,” I said, pulling my hand back. “Did it work?”  
He nodded, “Yeah, it worked. It felt like you were yelling in my ear,” he said. “It hurt.”  
I bit my lip. I didn’t mean to hurt him. “That’s going to be really annoying if you can hear everything I’m thinking,” I said. “What about emotions? Are you still getting vibes from me, like at the party?”  
“A little... It’s hard to tell. I think the stronger the emotion, the more I can feel it,” he said. “Hang on. Let’s see if it works both ways.”  
He concentrated for a moment, and then: I really want to kiss you again. I actually jumped. He was right—it did sound like he was talking to me. “Wow,” I said. “This is weird.”  
He grinned. “Did it work?” He asked.   
“Yeah,” I said. “If you didn’t warn me I wouldn’t have known you weren’t actually saying that aloud. I wonder if that’s what reading minds is like for my Dad?”  
“If it is, I have no idea how he tells the difference between someone speaking and someone thinking,” he said. He looked a bit freaked out. “Carlisle is going to flip when we tell him. I doubt this has happened before.”  
“I wonder why it has,” I mused. “Maybe it’s just because we’re imprints? And I already have a telepathic gift?”  
“Maybe,” he said. “Whatever the reason, it’s kind of cool.”  
I laughed. “My dad is likely to be glued to our thoughts as soon as we tell him that we can literally read each others minds,” I said.  
“Well, if we need to, we can always ask Bella to shield us,” he said. “I’m not sure I like the idea of him eavesdropping on every private thought I send you. That might get real annoying, real fast.”  
“We’ll get used to it,” I said. “And we don’t even know if this is a permanent thing or if it’s just some kind of random fluke and will go away soon.”  
“Right,” he said. “But let’s not worry about it anymore, okay? I want to enjoy our date, without talking about the weird supernatural things that we deal with on a daily basis.”  
“Sounds good to me,” I said. I stole one of his chicken wings and took a sip from my Mimosa. It was a little too... alcoholic for my tastes, so I only took a few sips and then I pushed it aside. I didn’t drink alcohol. I’d been allowed once to taste wine, but I hadn’t liked it. It didn’t affect me like it affected humans, but I still got dizzy and sick from drinking it.   
The waitress returned with our meals, and my stomach growled at the sight of the onion rings. They looked delicious, golden and steaming, exactly how onion rings should be. As soon as our waitress was gone, I devoured three before even turning to my wrap, which looked pitiful next to Jacob’s burger.   
He opened it and took out one of the huge pieces of bacon and put it on my plate, grinning. “I know you were going to ask,” he said.   
I scarfed down the piece of bacon, and then started on my wrap. It was delicious, too, with just the right amount of chicken pieces and tomatoes, and there was cheese and bacon strips, too. I was glad I’d remembered to ask for no lettuce. I hated lettuce, especially on wraps, and especially in restaurants. Lettuce was always limp and gross in restaurants.   
“This is probably the best meal I’ve eaten in days,” I announced, eating another of my onion rings. I’d shared a few with Jacob because he’d been eyeing them hungrily.   
“Don’t tell Esme,” he said, around a mouthful of his burger. “I mean, I love Esme’s cooking, but sometimes you just have to have food that’s probably full of bad things.”  
I nodded, agreeing. “We should get dessert,” I said. “I suddenly have a huge craving for a strawberry sundae.”  
“Oh, yes. Good idea,” he said. “But maybe one to share?”  
I considered, looking at the food in front of me. “That’s probably a good idea,” I said. I doubted I would be able to eat the second half of my club wrap.   
He finished his burger, and I finished the first half of my wrap and the rest of the onion rings. We shared his fries, dipping them in ketchup and pouring vinegar over them. We ate in comfortable silence. I was glad we’d chosen to sit in a booth. I wasn’t sure I would’ve liked sitting across a table from him.   
“You have ketchup on your chin,” he commented suddenly.  
I flushed, reaching for a napkin, but he grabbed it from me, and wiped the spot with the corner. His eyes never left mine, and I struggled to remember to breathe. Then he took my chin in his hand, tilted my face upwards, and kissed me.   
I seemed to stop breathing. I didn’t care that there were other people in the diner, and they were probably staring at us. There was something different about this kiss. It was gentle, but there was still fire in it, and I had to break away before it became far too heated and private for a Sunday afternoon at a diner.   
“What was that for?” I asked, breathlessly.   
He shrugged. “You just looked really, really kissable all of a sudden,” he said. “And I couldn’t resist anymore.”  
“I’m not complaining,” I said. “But maybe you should leave that kind of a kiss for when there’s no one around to witness it.”  
“Hmm,” he said. “Are you embarrassed that people might have seen? Because I don’t think anyone did. Maybe a waitress, I think.”  
“I’m not embarrassed. Of course not. I want the entire world to know that you’re mine, and I’m yours. It’s just...” I hesitated. The problem was, I knew, that I hadn’t wanted to pull away. It was the kind of kiss that I didn’t want anyone to see—whether it was one witness or a hundred. It was the kind of kiss that should’ve taken place in a bedroom.  
“Oh,” he said. I realized he’d read my thoughts again, and nodded. “Well, then perhaps we should get out of here?”  
“Not so fast,” I said. “I’m still getting my sundae.”  
He sighed a little. “Alright,” he said. The waitress was walking by, and he called her over. Luckily, they had sundaes, so he ordered one and asked for the bill.   
It was very, very hard not to kiss him again. But if the last weeks had taught me anything, it was self-restraint.   
We shared the sundae when it arrived, and he insisted on feeding me spoonfuls of it. We attempted to do so at the same time, but I ended up hitting him in the face with the spoon and the ice cream got on his nose—which looked adorable and hilarious at the same time. He laughed for about five minutes while I apologized. I had underestimated my strength, forgetting that I was just a bit stronger now that I was fully matured, and I’d actually bent the spoon in half when I hit him in the nose with it. Thankfully it didn’t leave a bruise. I put the spoon in my clutch to avoid explaining to the waitress why their spoon was now bent.   
We finished our sundae, and Jake pulled out his wallet.  
“How much was my half?” I asked, pulling out the bills in my clutch. There was probably enough to cover the whole meal, actually.   
“Don’t,” he said.  
I looked at him. “What?”   
“I’m paying for lunch, Ness,” he said. “Let me. I want to pay the bill, okay? It’s our first date, and it’s kind of the proper etiquette that the guy pays for the bill.”  
“But you don’t have to,” I protested.   
He sighed. “I know. But I want to,” he said. “It’s kind of part of the whole dating thing, you know. When you go on a date, the guy is supposed to pay for the bill. That’s just how it works. A woman only pays for her food if the date was bad and she never wants to see him again.”  
I frowned at him, but put away my clutch. He looked relieved, pulling out several bills from his wallet. I felt guilty, and I couldn’t help but count the bills he took out in my head and add them together. I would pay him back for it somehow. We left the restaurant, holding hands but not talking.   
“So, how did you know that? What’s expected on a date, I mean?” I asked, as we headed to the car. “I thought you never dated anyone.”  
“I haven’t,” he said. He looked embarrassed now, a flush on his cheeks. I was immediately curious. Jacob very rarely blushed. “Um... I... Well, I, er, looked it up. Online.”  
I stared at him, trying to decide if he was actually serious. “What, really? Why?” I was trying not to laugh. It would be rude of me to laugh.   
“I was nervous!” He said, defensively. “I wanted to make sure that I did everything... right. I didn’t want to screw up our first date.”  
“You didn’t seem nervous,” I commented. He wasn’t looking at me, and we’d reached the car. I sighed. “Jake... Hey. I think it’s cute. I mean, a little out of character for you, but it’s cute. I love that you wanted to make it perfect.”  
He snorted. “Cute. I am not cute,” he said. “I want to do this right, Ness. I want to date you properly. Take you on picnics and to movies, and romantic dinners and bonfires, and... I want to do this the way it should be done. With the flowers and the hand-written sappy letters and the chocolate and the kisses under mistletoe... and walks on the beach and whatever else they do in those awful romance movies.”  
I smiled. “Jacob...” I said. “I would love to do those things with you. But I don’t care what we do, as long as we’re together. I don’t care if you buy me flowers and jewelry and chocolate or not. I don’t need you to write me sappy letters. If you really want to do those things, I’m not stopping you. But you know, most of those things are done when a guy is trying to win a girl’s heart. And you definitely don’t have to win mine.”  
He looked at me, finally. “I know,” he whispered. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be worthy of your heart.”  
“You are,” I said. “You are more than worthy of my heart, my Jacob. You’re my soul mate, and you have always been, and will always be my soul mate.”  
He smiled. “You haven’t called me that in a long time,” he said. “‘Your’ Jacob, I mean. I missed hearing it.”  
“Hmm.... My Jacob,” I said.  
He kissed me, and I felt nothing except pure bliss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been by far my favourite chapter to write. I totally loved writing Jake and Nessie just being cute and adorable. Anyway. Comments and Kudos feed me like blood feeds a hungry vampire. I really hope you’re all liking AFTERGLOW so far and continue to read!   
> Xoxo


	7. 7. Theories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake and Nessie discuss theories with the Cullens.

7\. Theories 

 

WE WENT BACK TO HIS HOUSE AFTER. PARTLY BECAUSE I DIDN’T WANT TO GO home just yet, but mostly because we both wanted a little more time alone. And anyway, we both knew that as soon as we got home, Dad would probably be able to see our telepathic connection right away, and I didn’t really want to have to deal with that right away. And Dad and Grandpa could get carried away when they were discussing theories, and I wasn’t in the mood to have answer a thousand questions.  
“Do you want to put on a movie?” Jake asked, as we settled in the living room.   
I looked at his small movie collection. I couldn’t remember the last time we’d watched a movie just the two of us. In fact, now that I thought about it, it had been a while since it had been just the two of us. “I don’t know,” I said. “Would we actually be watching it?”  
“There’s like a ninety percent chance of us not watching it,” he admitted.   
I laughed. I looked through the collection of movies, trying to find something that looked interesting enough. He didn’t have a huge collection, but there were a few decent ones in there. I was a little surprised to see he had all of my favourites, though. “When did you get these?” I asked. I’d usually had to bring them whenever I came over.   
“A while ago,” he said. He sounded a bit uncomfortable.   
I wasn’t sure if he intentionally meant to do it, but a moment later, an image appeared in my mind that was not my own. A memory, I realized. “You missed me so much you watched my favourite chick-flicks?” I asked.   
“Don’t laugh at me,” he said. “It was a very low time for me.”  
I couldn’t help it. My lips twitched, forming a smile. I got up and walked over to him. “I’m sorry,” I said. “I will never do that to you again.”  
“Good,” he said, and bent down to kiss me.   
Before he could, however, there was a loud knock on the door. He swore under his breath, and I let go of his hand. He went to the door.  
Damn it Leah. I jumped a little at the sudden intrusion of his thoughts. That was definitely going to take some getting used to.   
A moment later, Jake came back into the living room with Leah in tow. This time, however, she wasn’t alone.   
“Nahuel!” I exclaimed, running over to hug him.   
He laughed, hugging me back. “Hello, Nessie,” he said. “You have grown again.”  
I pulled away. “For the last time,” I said.  
“Yes, I think so,” he said. “Well, either way, you look beautiful.”  
I couldn’t help but blush at the compliment. Behind me, I swore I could feel Jacob tense. Calm down, I thought, hoping he would hear it. It doesn’t mean anything.  
“How was New York?” I asked. We gravitated into the living room. Jacob made sure to sit next to me on the couch, unnecessarily close, and Nahuel sat in one of the armchairs, but Leah grabbed a kitchen chair so she could sit next to him.  
“New York was lovely. It’s such a huge city, though. I have been there three times but it is still very overwhelming to me,” Nahuel said. “It can be particularly hard, with all the humans around, at times. I have to remember to feed often.”  
“Yeah. I didn’t think about that. It must be harder to control the thirst in a big city,” I said. “I wanted to talk to you about that, actually.”  
“I imagine you must have questions,” Nahuel said. “It is, of course, different for you than it is for my sisters. They do not have any... restraint, when they are thirsty like that. But I will try to answer them as best I can.”  
I opened my mouth, ready to start asking questions, but Jacob interrupted. “I have a question, actually,” he said. I turned to look at him, confused. “Do you and Leah have any sort of telepathic connection?”  
Leah stared at him, and Nahuel just frowned. “Like communicating with our minds?” He asked, and Jake nodded. “No. We don’t have anything like that. Sometimes I am able to tell what she’s feeling, if it’s a particularly strong emotion, like sadness or fear or anger, but very rarely. Why do you ask?”  
I thought we were going to tell my Dad and Grandpa first, I thought at him, but he ignored me. “Something weird happened while we were out for lunch,” Jake said. “We were just sitting there normally, and all of a sudden I heard something that Ness was thinking. It sounded like she was talking to me, though, so I answered. Freaked her out. She didn’t even want me to hear it. She tried again and it worked. Then she used her gift properly, and it felt like she’d yelled in my ear with a megaphone. It actually hurt.”  
“And you can respond to her, as well?” Nahuel asked. We both nodded. “That is very odd. I have never heard of anything like that. Have you tried with anyone else?”  
“No,” I said. “Let me try, though. I’ll try sending one to you.”  
I concentrated hard on sending a thought to Nahuel. Is it working? I asked, but he didn’t react at all. I tried harder, but still nothing. I tried again, with Leah, and nothing there, either. “Huh. That’s weird. It didn’t work,” I said.  
“So it isn’t your gift evolving,” Nahuel said. “It seems to be just a connection between the two of you. I don’t think it’s an imprint thing, as Leah and myself don’t have it.”  
“That’s weird,” Jake said. “And at the party, I kept getting vibes from her. Like I could tell what she was feeling, even when she wasn’t in the room. I’m still getting them.”  
“I’ve never heard of anything like this,” Nahuel said. “Have you told anyone else about this? Edward, or Carlisle?”  
“We haven’t, no. We’re going to tell them when we get home,” I said. I could sense there was something he wasn’t saying. “You have a theory, don’t you? What is it?”  
“It is probably wrong,” Nahuel said. “But... this started happening after you spent a week without talking to each other at all, yes?”  
“Yeah,” I said. “Why?”  
He frowned again. “Well. I wonder if this was forged from your distance,” he said. “As though the imprint is giving you away to communicate even without being in each other’s presence. Like I said, I’m only guessing. But it seems too much of a coincidence to have happened randomly.”   
“What do you mean? You and Leah have been distanced, and you don’t have this,” I said, confused. “Why would we be different? And if that’s true, we can’t be the only ones that have had something like this. Imprints aren’t always with each other all the time. Paul and Rachel, for example. They fight, too.”  
“You went an entire week without seeing or speaking to each other. Other imprints are always in each other’s presence, and when they are not, they are speaking, at least,” Nahuel said. “As I said, I don’t know for sure. We would have to discuss it with your father and grandfather. But it is almost like your telepathic gift did grow stronger, but only works with Jacob for whatever reason. It still doesn’t explain, of course, why Jacob can feel and read your emotions. Jacob, have you tried to control them? Nessie’s emotions, I mean?”  
“What? Of course not,” he said. “I’d never control her like that.”  
Nahuel sighed. “I only meant that I wonder if you could, if you tried,” he said. “If Nessie were out of control, I wonder if perhaps you’d be able to calm her down by manipulating her emotions. Like Jasper. But maybe with stronger results. If, perhaps, she were totally out of control and unreachable, your telepathic connection might make it possible for you to reach and calm her.”   
Jake looked like he might be sick. “You mean by controlling her. Making her a slave to my will,” he said. “That’s sick and wrong.”  
“The imprint is basically already doing that,” I said quietly. “I mean. You basically do whatever I want you to. It’s kind of the same.”  
“It is not the same,” Jake said, his voice a low growl. He was glaring at Nahuel, and I could feel the anger radiating from him. Nahuel had pissed him off. “I’m not your slave, Ness. What Nahuel is suggesting... that’s manipulating you totally. Taking away all your choices. Imprinting... being imprinted... that’s nothing like that.”   
“You don’t have a choice,” I whispered. “You have to love me. Your instincts are to make me happy, no matter what. The imprint takes away your choices, too, Jake.”  
“No. Stop it,” he said. “Listen to me. The imprint is a soul bond, between two people. We’re bonded for life. Soul mates. It means I love you more than anything and all I want is for you to be safe and happy. What I feel for you... that’s not because of an imprint. That’s all me, okay? The imprint just decides that you’re my soulmate.”  
His eyes seemed to stare right into my soul, and for a moment, I forgot that we weren’t alone. I didn’t know what I would have said, if Leah hadn’t coughed. “Um... I hate to break this up, because this is all sickeningly adorable and everything,” she said, sounding uncomfortable—which was strange for Leah. “But you can do that staring into each other’s eyes and what not another time.”  
I looked away from Jake, cheeks warm. “So, what do we do? About this?” I asked.   
“Definitely speak to your father and grandfather,” Nahuel said. “They would probably have a better idea of what’s happening than me. But whatever this is, it’s certainly unique. Pay attention to the things you notice. The thoughts, emotions... anything like that. And if I were you, I’d try seeing if it works over longer distances. Tonight, after you separate, see if you can still send thoughts to each other, and if you can still feel each other’s emotions. Make note if it feels less strong than if you were together, or still as powerful.”  
“Yes, Sir,” Jake said, smirking. I rolled my eyes. “I wonder if I can show you memories, like you do? I know you were using your gift normally, but maybe it can go both ways now.”   
“I really doubt the connection would be that strong,” I said. “You’re a Shapeshifter, Jake. You don’t have any supernatural g—”   
I was cut off by an image slamming into my mind. But it wasn’t an image. I quickly realized that he was showing me the memory of our first kiss, as he had experienced it. I saw the moment when he’d first seen me after my final transformation. It was strange, seeing myself in his eyes. He thought I was beautiful, like an ethereal angel.   
And then it was all over. I was staring at him again, heart thumping loudly in my chest. “It worked?” He asked.   
I nodded. “How... How’d you do that?”   
“I don’t really know,” he said. “I didn’t intend to. I wasn’t even aware that I was actually doing it. But I was thinking about... Well, you saw it, obviously.”  
I smiled. “What worked, exactly?” Nahuel asked, reminding me, once again, that we weren’t alone.   
You have to stop distracting me with things like that, I scolded Jake in my mind. It’s not fair when there are other people in the room. “Um. The memory thing that Jake was talking about,” I said. “He was able to send me a memory. But it wasn’t intentional, as he said. He was thinking about something that happened the other day and transferred the memory to me.”  
“That is incredible,” Nahuel said. “This is definitely something worth looking into. I wonder if the Volturi might know more about it.”   
“No!” I exclaimed. Nahuel blinked, surprised. “I don’t want the Volturi to know about this. If they think there’s something special about Jake, they’ll try to get to him somehow. I just know they will. I don’t want them knowing anything. Promise me, Nahuel. Promise me you will not tell the Volturi anything.”  
“Of course. I promise not to say anything,” he said. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I was simply musing. They do know many things. But, I don’t think they would know anything about this. And you’re right. It is too dangerous to give them any information.”  
I exhaled in relief. Instinctively, I reached for Jake’s hand and twined our fingers together. “Well,” Leah said, getting up. “We should probably get going. But we’ll see you at dinner tonight. Esme invited us over. And you know Carlisle will take all opportunities to pelt Nahuel with questions.”  
I smiled. We stood as well, and walked them to the door. “Thanks for coming by,” Jake said. “We’ll see you later. Oh, and Leah—I forgot to ask before—but would you come for a hunt, before you guys head back to Portland? I know the rest of the Pack miss you. And I’ve planned a bonfire in the back afterwards. And Nahuel, we want you to come as well. Everyone’s going to be there. It’d be just like old times.”   
Leah’s face seemed to pale a little. “Yeah, sure. That sounds great,” she said. “Anyway. We’ll see you later.”  
I barely had time to hug her and Nahuel goodbye, before she was pulling him out the door. We heard their car start and pull out of the driveway a few minutes later. Jake looked at me, frowning. “Is it just me, or did Leah seem a bit off to you? I guess it makes sense, now that I know, but she seems really off,” he said. “Do you think she told Nahuel yet?”  
“Definitely not. He wouldn’t have been able to stop himself from telling us, if she had told him,” I said. “She probably seems stressed because she’s worried about telling him. Nothing to worry about.”   
“Right,” he said. “But as her alpha, I do have the right to be concerned about her. I should talk to her later, about her being pregnant.”   
“Leah can take care of herself, Jake,” I said. “She won’t like it if you start hovering over her just because she’s pregnant.”   
He sighed. “Yeah. You’re probably right,” he said.   
He put in a movie and we settled back into the couch. This time, he wrapped his arms around me, and I placed my head on his chest, happy that we were alone.   
While the previews rolled, he began playing with my hair, running his fingers through the curls. I tried not to shiver as they brushed the nape of my neck.   
“So. What were you saying before? About distracting you?” He asked. “Something about... how it wasn’t fair...?”  
I fought back a groan, unable to stand it anymore. I sat up, turning to face him properly. “It was very unfair,” I said. “Do you know how hard it was to resist kissing you?”  
“Believe me, I know,” he said. “How do you think I felt in the restaurant? If I had my way, I’d have spent the entire meal just making out.”  
I smiled. “Well. Then it looks like we have a lot to make up for,” I breathed.   
He kissed me, almost hungrily. I fell forward onto his chest, and my hands reached up and tangled themselves in his hair. One of his hands was curled into a fist at the small of my back. I could hear his heartbeat, like thunder in my ears. I smelled nothing but his scent. Tasted nothing but his lips against mine, steady and gentle and full of heat.   
In a second, something changed, though I wasn’t sure what it was. Everything felt more heightened, too different and unlike when I’d kissed him earlier. Now I was aware of everything. His pulse, which was jumping wildly and sounded like thunder in my ears. The feel of his hand at my waist, the way his fingers curled. The way he felt underneath me—strong, solid, and warm. Like before, it felt like electricity was coursing through my veins, but something wasn’t right. Something felt wrong.   
And then, I could taste blood. I pulled back immediately, alarmed. “W—Did you just bite me?” Jake asked, lightly touching his lower lip. He was bleeding, but only barely—his super-healing was already kicking in.   
I stared at his lip, resisting the strange urge to lick my own. “I’m... I’m sorry?” I said it like a question, but I didn’t feel sorry. In fact, I wanted more. I’d never tasted anything like that before, and I wanted more. The moment the thought entered my head, I hated myself for it. But I didn’t feel ashamed or guilty, like I expected I would.  
“Nessie?” Jake asked worriedly. When he spoke, his scent seemed to overpower me again, more irresistible then before. “Are you okay? You look really pale.”  
“I... I bit you. You... Why aren’t you angry at me?” I asked.   
His forehead crinkled in confusion. “Why would I be angry?” He asked. “I mean, it just happened. Nothing to be ashamed of.”   
“I...There’s something wrong with me,” I said. I moved back, so I wasn’t so close to him, and he sat up. “I shouldn’t have done that.”   
“Nessie, stop it,” he said. “You don’t get to do that. The whole self-doubting and self-hatred crap. Not with me, okay? You are part-vampire. You have instincts, especially right now, that you can’t fight. You need to accept that, because it’s never going to change. You don’t ever have to be ashamed of yourself, of who you are, when you’re with me. Okay?”  
“How can you just... just be okay with it? With me being part vampire? How can you be okay with the fact that I just bit you and I liked it, and I wanted more? That I actually enjoyed the taste of your blood. How can you be okay with that?” I demanded.   
“Well. Everyone has their... thing, I guess,” he said. I narrowed my eyes, and he laughed. “Okay. Sorry. No jokes. But... I knew from the beginning exactly what you are, Ness, and I accept every part of you. The part that’s a vampire, and the part that’s human. And, well, I kind of talked to Carlisle about this. At the party. I asked him what I could expect. He basically said that now that you’ve reached adulthood, especially with your thirst as strong as it is right now, you might have more vampire tendencies now and those might show up in various ways. But like I said, it’s also because I accept you as you are, no matter what.”   
“I feel like I don’t even know who I am right now,” I said. “So how can you know who I am, when I don’t know myself?”  
He reached out, and took my hand. “I’m not sure,” he said. “I guess the only thing I’m totally sure of, and I know this is going to sound totally lame, is that I love you.”   
I smiled. “I love you, too,” I said.   
He kissed me again, and I forgot what I was worried about. 

~*~

 

It was very late in the afternoon by the time Jake and I finally arrived back at the house. I knew immediately that my cousins were here, and Jake seemed to sense when I tensed up, because he took my hand and squeezed tight. I’m right here, his voice whispered inside my head.  
I responded by curling my fingers tightly around his, and we went inside. Luckily, my cousins were all upstairs in their rooms. In the living room, my parents and grandparents were sitting together watching some baseball game on TV. Uncle Emmett was there, but I didn’t see Aunt Rose anywhere.   
As soon as we entered, Uncle Emmett grinned at us, his eyes glinting mischievously. “Home already, Nessie?” He asked. “It’s not even five.”   
“Shut up, Uncle Emmett,” I said, glaring at him.   
He laughed. “Where’s everyone else?” Jake asked, as we sat on the love-seat.  
“Daniel is at the library doing research,” Grandpa answered. “Nikita and Ally are upstairs, and Rosalie is at home with Sophie and Xander. Alice and Jasper are upstairs, too.”   
“Good,” I said. “Um, Uncle Emmett, would you mind leaving for a minute? We need to discuss something with Grandpa, Mom and Dad alone.”   
“Why?” Uncle Emmett demanded.   
I sighed, looking at Grandma for help. “Emmett, I’m sure Rosalie could use your help with your children,” Grandma said, pointedly.   
He sighed dramatically, but got up anyway. “Fine, fine,” he said. “Don’t need to beg.” He left, and I heard the front door close a few seconds later.   
“He’s home,” Dad said, a couple minutes later, speaking for the first time. He and Mom were looking at me worriedly. “What is it, Nessie? I could sense something is different as soon as you pulled up, but I didn’t want to pry.”  
“Thank you, for respecting my privacy,” I said. “It’s actually got to do with mind-reading, funnily enough.”  
“Is this about your gift?” Grandpa asked. He turned off the TV so he could turn his full attention to me.   
“Sort of,” I said, biting my lip. I looked at Jake, who was still holding my hand tightly. He nodded, encouraging me to continue. “Well. Something happened, at the restaurant. It’s hard to explain...”  
Instead of attempting to put it into words, I opened my mind and let my Dad see what had happened for himself. Otherwise, I didn’t think I would be able to explain it enough for him to understand. I watched his face as he listened to my thoughts, and he frowned, his forehead creasing with confusion.  
Finally, when I could sense I’d shown him enough to explain, my Dad sat back into the couch, still frowning deeply. He looked more confused than I’d ever seen him. “Edward?” Mom asked, and she was frowning, too. “What is it?”  
“It would seem that Jacob and Renesmee’s minds have been connected somehow,” Dad said. “It is as though they both have telepathic gifts, but only with each other. They are able to send and receive each other’s thoughts, and read their emotions as clearly as Jasper can read any of ours. Jacob might even be able to completely control Renesmee’s hunger, if what I gathered was any indication.”  
“What?” My mother and Grandpa said at the same time, shock in both their voices. They both turned to stare at us. “Is that true?” My mom asked me.   
“Yes,” I said. “I’m not sure when it started exactly—I think at the party—but the telepathic part started this morning. We’ve tried it on other people, but like Dad said, it only works between the two of us. It’s not like my gift at all. It’s like an extension of it, but it doesn’t make sense that Jake can send thoughts back to me.”  
“Strange,” Grandpa said. He had a thoughtful look on his face. “You said that it started at the party? What did you mean by ‘started’?”  
“It was just feelings at first,” Jake explained. “I was able to tell when she was upset even if she was far away from me, sense when she needed me. I thought it was weird that I was getting such a strong sense of her emotions, because that’s never happened before.”   
“Hmm,” Grandpa said. “That is interesting. I wonder... Nessie, are you able to send thoughts to anyone else, or read anyone else’s emotions?”   
“No. Just Jacob’s,” I said. “We already tested that theory, with Nahuel and Leah, before we came here.”   
“Were they aware you were testing out this theory, or no?” Grandpa asked.   
I nodded. “We explained what happened to Nahuel. I attempted sending thoughts to them both, and there were no results. No emotion reading, either. Nahuel had a theory, though,” I said. “He thinks that this connection may have been forged because we spent a week without talking to or seeing each other right before I became fully mature. It didn’t really make sense to me. He also suggested that we try to see if its still there when we’re separated by more than just a room and walls. We haven’t tried yet, since we’re waiting until tonight. But he said it’s definitely not an extension of my gift.”  
“That,” Grandpa said, “is very interesting. And also possible that you may have forged a connection through your imprint, but also through your own gifts, that allows you to communicate when you are apart, and to read the other’s emotions especially when they are running high. It is highly possible, actually. I will have to discuss this with Nahuel tonight.”   
“I’m confused, Carlisle,” Mom said. “Why would Nessie and Jacob have this mental connection just because they spent time apart? It’s not as though it was the first time they haven’t seen or spoken to each other. What made this recent separation different?”   
That was almost identical to what I’d said to Nahuel when he suggested it. Grandpa contemplated it for a second before answering. “Well, as Nessie said, she’s just become fully mature. Before, she was still growing. And have they actually spent a full week without seeing or speaking to each other? Because as far as I can recall, the longest separation that occurred before this only lasted a day or two,” Grandpa said. “Remember, Bella. Renesmee and Jacob are the first hybrid-shapeshifter couple that existed, until Nahuel and Leah, that is. But even Nahuel and Leah’s situation is... different. Nessie is a half-vampire with very unique gifts, whereas Nahuel does not have any gifts. As with everything else, this is new to all of us.”  
“Is it possible that this connection could fade as time passes?” Grandma said, speaking for the first time. She had been listening carefully until now, processing everything as she always did, with a contemplative look on her face. “Perhaps this connection is simply temporary, a way for Jacob to know if Nessie is alright even if she is not speaking to him, and vice versa.”  
“Only time will tell us the answer to that,” Grandpa said. “We won’t know if it’s temporary until the connection fades, if it fades at all. But you have a point. I think Jacob would have appreciated knowing for himself that Nessie was fine and just avoiding him last week, right, Jacob?”   
“Huh? Oh, right. Um, yeah, I would’ve,” Jake said. “Now, I know Nessie doesn’t want the Volturi to know about any of this, but... You guys have contacts that could get you information on mental talents like Nessie’s, right? Maybe someone has heard of something like this happening before? Edward, you guys have been looking for other shape-shifter packs, right? Surely there has to be something or someone who could tell us something?”   
“We have been looking, yes. There were rumours about were-cats in Canada, part of the native tribes there. We were unsuccessful at finding any details about their location, but perhaps our sources could find something for us. And we can certainly ask some of our friends if they have any books or information on mental talents and soul-mates that could be helpful to us in the meantime,” Dad said. “I know you are anxious to see if there are indeed other shape-shifters, Jacob. We are looking, but I have a feeling there is a reason Caius was so surprised at the existence of your pack all those years ago. Shape-shifters seem to want to keep themselves as hidden. If there are any packs left like yours, I think it will be very difficult to find them, and if they do exist, there will be very few of them.”   
Jake tried not to look disappointed at that. He’d often talked about finding other shape-shifters, and we’d spent many hours imagining what they might be. We’d been trying to find others for years now, but none of our research or searching had been successful thus far. So we’d put the search on the back-burner, so to speak, and let other things become more important, but I knew Jacob was still hopeful that there were other shape-shifters out there. There had to be.   
“In the meantime, we’ll monitor this connection and do as much research here as we can,” Grandpa said. “It would be helpful if you could both start perhaps writing down things that could help us figure out this connection and where it came from and why it is there. Make a report when you discover something new about it, so to speak.”  
“We can do that,” I said, and Jake nodded in agreement. “Also, Grandpa. I was wondering. Is it normal for vampires to have an urge to bite when being... intimate?”  
As much as I hated asking in front of my parents, I had to ask. I still felt awful about biting Jacob before, and I needed to know that it was normal. Dad made a choking noise when he realized what I was actually asking.   
“Oh, yes,” Grandpa said. “It’s very normal. And considering you’re half vampire and your cravings lately, I’m not at all surprised that you would have that urge. It’s nothing to worry about. I would, if I were you, make sure that you are in control of your thirst, but otherwise, it’s perfectly normal.”  
I actually hadn't thought of my thirst when I’d bit Jacob earlier. It had been a purely in the moment thing. But now that he mentioned it... I shuddered to think that I might’ve actually really hurt him, if I hadn’t been in control of my thirst when I’d bit him. “Okay. Thanks. That’s all I wanted to know,” I said. “If that’s all, can we go now?”  
I was trying desperately to ignore it, but I could still smell my cousins scent. It was strong, and it was everywhere, and I hadn’t had any blood yet. I could feel the thirst starting.   
“Of course,” Dad said. “You should hunt anyway. Just be home by dinner. We’re having Nahuel and Leah over.”  
I could practically feel his concern for me. I’ll be fine, I thought at him. I just need to hunt, that's all.  
He nodded, and I stood up. Jacob followed suit. I let my Mom hug me before we left the house, pretending I didn’t see her exchanging warning looks with Jake behind my back.   
We left the house, heading into the woods, and it took several hundred yards before I trusted myself enough to let out a deep breath.   
“You okay?” Jacob asked. “You look panicked all of a sudden.”  
I steadied myself against a tree, breathing in the woods and the scent of animals all around me. “I’m fine. The hunger started getting to me again,” I said. “Being in the house, with my cousin’s scents everywhere... it’s like telling your stomach not to growl at a buffet full of food that smells absolutely delicious.”  
“Well, let’s hunt then,” he said. “Do you want me to shift?”  
I almost said no. “That might be easier, actually,” I said. “If I get distracted by my thirst, I could try to attack you. In wolf form... you should be less distracting.”  
“Alright,” he said. “Just a second.”  
He went behind a tree, and I swore I felt the ripple of his change run through me. A few seconds later, he emerged as a wolf.   
Let’s go hunting, I thought to him.   
Jake let out a bark that sounded like a laugh, and then bounded off into the trees. I grinned, and chased after him.


End file.
